


Holiday Season

by My_Trex_has_fleas



Series: Land and Sea [24]
Category: Poldark - All Media Types, Return to Treasure Island (TV 1996)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Presents, Christmas Tree, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Ross is obsessed with Christmas, Semi-Public Sex, Switch BDSM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-04-30 16:14:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5170232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Trex_has_fleas/pseuds/My_Trex_has_fleas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's late November and Christmas is approaching. That means holiday season is upon us.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Winchester Winter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pyxis-142 (jx437)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Pyxis-142+%28jx437%29), [FiliKiliThorinForever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiliKiliThorinForever/gifts), [Milliegirl21](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milliegirl21/gifts).



> This monstrosity is the result of a whole bunch of prompts for Innuendo and which have somehow ended up here, LOL.
> 
> So we have ex-boyfriend angst and make-up smut for FiliKiliThorinForever, cookng lessons for Milliegirl21, and Christmas fluff for Pyxis-142. 
> 
> Once again a huge thank to Pyx for being my cheerleader and giving me awful ideas.

Like all relationships there were ups and downs. Sometimes it was all passion and heat and fucking against the fridge and others it wasn’t. Sometimes they couldn’t get out of bed because their bodies were weak and their arses were sore and they had barely enough energy left to breathe. 

And then some days they just couldn’t be bothered. And in this last two weeks before Christmas, Jim was finding it more and more the case. Not that he was complaining for those were the days Jim liked best. He’d always been a creature of action, constantly moving and active, and sometimes it was exhausting to him. He had always had trouble switching off, one of the reasons he’d suffered from insomnia his whole life. His brain had always worked too quickly, and only tiring it out had allowed him to slow down enough to sleep. Sailing and swimming did wonders for his body, but now it was Ross that soothed his mind and soul to sleep.

So now he luxuriated in the steady waves of body heat coming off Ross as they lay in their bed together. It didn’t always work, because they were both cuddlers and sometimes they overheated each other and ended up shoving each other to the opposite sides of the bed. Of course that only meant hunting each other down in the middle of the night. It wasn’t unheard for them to drift back to each other, knocking noses as they kissed while half asleep. And then Jim would tuck himself under Ross’ chin, face in Ross’ neck and breathe in that deep oak forest smell that Ross had. It was a smell that he could track down in a dark room full of people. 

They would lie like that for a while and then the inevitable shifting would happen and Ross would turn over so Jim could fit himself along Ross’ back, arm around his waist. Now he could breathe into the back of Ross’ neck and kiss his ear if he chose, and Jim frequently chose. The line of Ross’ ear was soft and he loved to run his nose along it. This sometimes got a grumble for Jim breathing too hard on him, the puff of air making Ross’ skin goosebump. He was remarkably ticklish for someone who professed to be no such thing.

And that was how they had woken up. Ross was but an inch from his mouth, and if Jim shifted only the slightest bit his lips would brush the soft skin at the nape of Ross’ neck. He pondered this for a moment, breathing deep as Ross’ morning smell washed over him. He knew he was a little obsessed with Ross’ smell and had developed a habit of sniffing him. Ross thought it was odd, but then he also did it back. Jim liked to think it was a sign of perfect genetic compatibility, something he had mentioned to Ross once although he got a bemused look in response. Ross wasn’t very big on science. He had also failed to see the point as they were obviously never going to be reproducing. 

Jim smiled at the memory, and slid his hand down Ross’ side, feeling the ribs under his palm. Ross was built more elegantly than he was, a series of lean lines and graceful limbs. His hands were beautiful, the fingers elegant. Jim had seen them in action as Ross cooked or gamed or the very rare occasion he’d allowed Jim to see him paint. The first time he did that, Jim was astounded. He hadn’t known what to expect when Ross had told him about the paintings he’d stowed in the shed, paintings rescued from his parent’s house in Cornwall. It was only when they’d gone up to see Rose after he’d got back, and she’d proudly shown him the seascape she’d stolen from Ross (as she put it with a twinkle) that he’d realised just how talented Ross was. 

Jim knew his own talents lays in numbers and algorithms, in how to handle a boat and read the weather or the shift of the waves. He could also cook and thought that was where his creative urges came out. But he’d never been able to create such beauty as Ross could and the first time he’d gone to go get him out the shed, which Ross had now turned into something of an impromptu studio, and seen Ross completely lost in what he was doing that Jim had been struck by the dextrous beauty of those hands. 

He did not see beauty, however, in the snuffling noises his beloved made when Ross decided that Jim was far too close to him without actually touching him. They were, in fact, alarmingly water-buffalo like and accompanied by Ross backing up so they were even closer together, moving so the planes and curves of their bodies slotted together perfectly. Jim ended up with a face full of hair and had to change position so he could breathe. And then to make matters worse, Ross turned over. That was when things got really bad. In a desperate attempt to stall what was coming, Jim turned over himself and hauled the duvet up around his head. It started with a nose in his ear as it often did. Jim could never explain just why Ross liked to do that, but it had become of the strangest and most endearing habits he had. Unfortunately it was accompanied by the realisation that Ross was not nearly as asleep as he had been making out.

‘Jim.’ he said and he sounded alarmingly awake. ‘Are you up?’

‘No.’ Jim muttered into the pillow. He knew why Ross was so keen to be up and about and cursed the fact that he’d ever introduced him to Christmas. It was true that the one before had seen Ross make some changes in his life that had resulted in a chain of events that had ended up with them together in their house, but they hadn’t been happy changes for a large part and Jim had expected to find Ross immune to Christmas after that. So the fact that Ross had turned out to be overly excited by the thought of their first Christmas in their cottage had taken him by surprise. 

They had decided that Rose would come down to them, and that Christmas would be a fusion of traditions, namely that they would probably end up in their pyjamas in front of the TV but also that Ross would be allowed to have a very large Christmas tree from the twelfth of December and that Jim would take Ross to the Winchester Christmas market to buy decorations for it. For someone who’d professed to hate the tradition and pageantry associated with Christmas, when presented with the opportunity to have it for himself and on his terms, Ross was proving to be enthusiastic in the extreme. 

‘Come on.’ he said right into Jim’s ear. ‘You said we could go today.’ Jim grumbled into the pillow again and the nose was quickly replaced by a tongue which made him yell and come out swinging. Ross backed off and got him by both wrists, straddling him and pinning him down. Jim gave him a baleful glare and Ross grinned at him. ‘Come on, if we get everything done this morning then we can be back in time for the rugby this afternoon.’

‘Oh for fuck’s sake.’ Jim said and Ross let him go and bounded off the bed. He went into the bathroom, humming happily to himself. Jim lay on his back and regarded the ceiling and tried to motivate himself into getting out of bed. Late November was proving to be horrible an wet and grey as a storm sea and he was only really interested in staying curled up in bed with a book or at a push heading downstairs to the sofa in the living room so he could watch Farscape re-runs and hide under a blanket while Ross went off to go play in the garden shed, something he’d been doing a lot recently. Jim was actually quite amused by it, mostly because Ross was being so sneaky about what he was up to in there. Of course the ingrained paint under his fingernails and the smell of turpentine that clung to him afterwards always gave him away, but Jim didn’t ask him what he was painting. 

‘You want to call the girls?’ Ross called from the bathroom. ‘We could go get them and then go up.’

‘No, Jackie’s on watch today.’ Jim called back. He rolled onto his side and pondered just going until he hit the floor. It seemed easier than actually getting up. He heard the shower start and sighed again. This was a definite sign that Ross was not coming back to bed, at least not until he’d completed his mission for the day. He sat up and then got out of bed, taking a few minutes to pull the duvet straight and set the pillows back where they were supposed to be. Then he went after Ross, shivering a little in the cold air of the house. 

He found him already in the shower and Jim took a moment to lean against the doorframe and watch him. They had replaced the curtain rail with an actual glassed in shower cubicle and now he could stand and admire Ross through the steamed up glass. Ross’ voice, however, cut through his contemplation.

‘Are you going to just stand there or come in here?’ he asked and Jim smiled. He went over and Ross bumped the door open for him to get in next to him. Thankfully they had both decided on space over cost and the shower fitted them both comfortably. Ross turned to face him, shaking his wet hair in Jim’s face. 

‘Child.’ Jim said automatically, his arms already reaching for Ross’ neck and Ross obliged happily, leaning down and kissing him. 

*********

A very long shower, breakfast and an argument over whether to go via the M3 or the A303 later, and they were finally in the Land Rover and headed towards Winchester. Jim was sitting as he usually did, feet up on the dashboard and phone in his hands, reading as they drove. Ross preferred quiet in the car and Jim was always happy to oblige. He was reading a particularly diverting book and was pretty much lost in it when he realised Ross had spoken to him.

‘What?’ he asked, only half looking up and Ross snorted at him, as he so often did. Jim liked to tease him that he’d clearly spent too much time around horses.

‘I asked you what you want for Christmas.’ he replied and Jim grinned.

‘Your huge cock.’ he said and that got a bark of laughter.

‘You have that already.’ Ross said. ‘Come on, I’m being serious. What do you want for Christmas? I need some guidance if I am going to top last year.’

‘You don’t have to top last year.’ Jim said. ‘Whatever you get me will be fine.’ He shifted and looked at Ross. ‘This is not going to get out of hand, right?’

‘What are you talking about?’ Ross said, completely feigning ignorance.

‘I’m talking about that competitive streak of yours.’ Jim said. 

‘Don’t you mean of ours?’ Ross asked, giving him a sidelong look. ‘The last time I checked, I wasn’t the one that insisted on best of seventeen when I lost at Mario Kart.’ 

‘That was entirely justified.’ Jim said, with just a hint of snippiness. Ross grinned. He loved that tone which had just enough self-righteous indignation in it to make Jim sound like a bratty ten year old. He would never say it aloud, but he adored Jim’s stroppy moments and needling him into one was one of Ross’ best forms of entertainment. And it wasn’t like the line of questioning was necessary. Ross had long ago decided what he was getting both Jim and Rose for Christmas. It was something that only he thought was the best thing he could give, a little piece of himself in thanks to the two people who’d pretty much saved him and given him a family when his own had cast him aside. 

But that didn’t mean he couldn’t have a little fun.

The drive progressed uneventfully and they got to Winchester just after twelve. Ross found a parking near the university and they tumbled out and headed down towards the cathedral close where the Christmas market was. 

It was cold but thankfully dry and Jim was not very surprised when he found his hand being taken. He looked at Ross, but Ross was too busy looking around him. He had been like a different person since summer. All the darkness he’d carried with him had pretty much evaporated and he’d settled into their relationship with all the ease and happiness Jim had wanted for them. Howard had gone from Ross’ life permanently. They’d heard the rumours (mostly brought to them by Jay and Edgeware) that he’d resigned his commission and packed up his wife and children and headed off to Canada, where he apparently had landed a rather prestigious job. That, and the shift in their relationship that had come from that evening, meant that they were rather ridiculously happy. 

The market was series of timber chalet type stalls all set up in the close next to the cathedral. They walked through the crowds, gloved fingers linked. Jim wasn’t really paying much attention to anything around him, choosing instead to focus on Ross. He listened as Ross chattered on about the Christmas festivities planned at the barracks and what Holmewood and Angelina were doing (going to his parents) and then looked at him in surprise as he mentioned that Demelza was going to be spending Christmas in London chez Carter.

‘Really?’ he asked and Ross grinned. 

‘He took her up last weekend when you were on ship.’ he said. ‘Apparently Selma fucking loves her. Ike thinks it’s the beginning of the end.’

‘He should.’ Jim replied. ‘Well, he wanted a girlfriend.’

‘That he did.’ Ross said, his attention distracted by a stall of brightly coloured Christmas tree decorations. Jim gave him a fond look. 

‘I need to find something for Rose.’ he said. ‘Go play and I’ll meet you back in in half an hour, okay?’ Ross gave him a brilliant smile and a quick kiss and headed off. Jim watched him disappear into the crowds and went on his own search.

He always bought two presents at Christmas for Rose, just like she did for him. It was a little tradition they’d started that very first Christmas after his father had died. Rob had been every bit as meticulous and organised as his son had turned out to be and when Rose had gone through his things she’d found that he had already bought both her and Jim Christmas presents. It had made that first Christmas a little bit better and the following year, Jim had gravely requested the assistance of Ruth to help him go and find something for his mother. Ruth had been rather taken aback but she’d gladly lent him a hand in choosing something that he thought his father would have bought Rose. Rob had had an eye for the unusual and Rose’s reaction when he’d presented her with her extra gift on Christmas Day had hurt and uplifted him in equal measures. The only thing that had been better had been the fact that she’d done exactly the same. 

And so each year they had continued and now it was such an ingrained part of their Christmas ritual that Jim did it without thinking. He’d already bought her a present from him, a rather beautiful Talavera pottery strawberry planter that had been brought back from their short shore leave in Mexico. But the things he got her from Rob were a little more intimate. He stopped as he passed a stall and looked at the glasswork jewelrey they had displayed. Rose didn’t have any heirloom pieces, preferring the type of silver and semi-precious stone jewelry that one frequently found in shops that reeked of incense and run by hippies. But the pendants he saw on display here were beautiful and he quickly picked one that was in shade of ocean blue and green. He paid for it and headed back to find Ross. That was when he saw them.

In hindsight, Jim should have anticipated this, but he’d completely blanked on the fact that Andover was only a hop, skip and a jump from Winchester. In truth he hadn’t given Greg any thought at all since he’d gotten together with Ross and so at first he was a little bemused by the couple that was staring quite blatantly at him. Then his brain clicked back into gear and he recognised them both. 

One of the things he’d reconciled with himself was that his relationship with Greg had mostly gone south because he hadn’t been able to commit, not in the way Greg had wanted to. It was one of the things that had told him how right his relationship with Ross was. The fact that when he’d looked at Ross’ face with all his fear and hope and trepidation written clearly enough for Jim to read while he’d stumbled over his obviously carefully prepared words and asked Jim to move in with him and there had never been any other answer than yes in his mind or his heart was what cemented Jim’s certainty that he and Ross were meant to be together and Jim had never once had a single regret about doing it either. 

So it didn’t faze him at all to see the man on Greg’s arm was the same one that Greg had cheated on him with. They had both known Charlie well. He was a controller at RAF Andover and someone Greg had introduced him to fairly early on in their relationship. He’d been to their flat many times and Jim had counted him as a friend. The revelation that he was the one that Greg had been sleeping with while he was on deployment had hurt him, but not come as any great surprise. And now there they were, standing a few feet from him as he had turned away from the stall, and watching him intently.

Jim stared back. It had been three years since he had seen either of them. The small catty part of himself that he normally kept under wraps noted that Charlie looked like he’d put on weight. Greg had always been quite particular about his appearance when they were together and Jim wondered how that was going down in the Rutherford household. He remembered a couple of pointed remarks made when Greg thought he’d bulked up too much the one year when he’d had been at a really low point in their relationship. Not only that, but even though Charlie was clinging to Greg’s arm like a drowning man, Jim could read the distance in Greg’s posture and expression. He’d been on the receiving end of that look on more than one occasion. 

He realised that they were walking towards him, and felt a sudden urge to bolt into the crowd. He hated this, and had hated the animosity with which it had all ended. But instead of turning tail, he decided to stand his ground.

‘Jim.’ Greg said when they got to him. ‘Fancy seeing you here.’ His green eyes were cool and appraising and Jim was stupidly pleased to see a look of jealousy flash across Charlie’s face. He knew it was petty, but it felt too good to resist. 

‘Hi.’ he said, and gave them a smile. No point in being unpleasant. ‘It’s been a while.’

‘It has.’ Greg said and Jim noticed that Charlie’s grip on his arm got a little tighter. ‘What are you doing here.’

‘Getting Rose a Christmas present.’ he replied, holding up the bag as evidence. He changed his focus. ‘How are you Charlie?’

‘Wonderful.’ Charlie said and Jim could hear the bitchy undercurrent. ‘We’re going to Greg’s family for Christmas this year. Yvonne and I get on a like a house on fire.’ The barb was clear. Jim and Greg’s mother had never seen eye to eye.

‘That’s good.’ Jim said, trying to stay neutral. He knew it was the insecurity talking. Greg had a knack for bringing that out in people, especially his partners. He glanced quickly at his watch. ‘Well, I should probably get going. I have to meet someone.’

‘Really?’ Greg asked. ‘You’re not here by yourself?’ There was something in his tone that Jim couldn’t really identify.

‘No.’ he said. ‘My boyfriend’s actually here with me.’ He saw a slight lift of eyebrows and then realised why they had been looking at him like they had. They had clearly thought he was by himself and wanted to come over and maybe put the boot in a little. 

‘We didn’t know you were seeing anyone.’ Charlie said and the absurdity of the statement made Jim huff a laugh.

‘Why would you?’ he asked. ‘I haven’t seen you for ages.’ He looked at Greg. ‘You’ve met him actually.’ Greg frowned.

‘I have?’ he asked, suddenly on guard.

‘Yeah, that night at Hampshire Boulevard when you accused me of slumming.’ Jim said, and Charlie’s face was a picture. ‘Remember? Tall, dark and army? You and him having a pissing contest on the dance floor?’ He grinned as Greg’s face fell.

‘When were you at Hampshire Boulevard?’ Charlie asked Greg, who was now none too subtly glaring at Jim. 

‘You’re still with him?’ he asked, ignoring Charlie’s question, and Jim nodded, although the disbelief in Greg’s voice was not something he’d counted on and it rankled him.

‘I am.’ he said, a little defensively. ‘We’ve got a place down near Lulworth.’ 

‘You’re living with him?’ Charlie asked, and looked at Greg. ‘So much for your theory he’d never move in someone again.’ Greg suddenly looked like a naughty child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Charlie turned back to Jim with a conspiratorial smile, now completely at ease that he’d heard Jim wasn’t single. ‘He’s been saying for ages that you’d never settle down with anyone and you’d be alone forever.’ 

Jim felt stung by that but said nothing. He knew he had no right to feel upset by what Greg had said, after all it had been three years. On the other hand, the fact that Greg seemed to have dismissed him ever being happy did not sit well with him. Especially seeing as it was those words that they’d ended their relationships with. he had a flashback to that last argument before he’d left for deployment, both of them screaming at each other and Greg getting in the final hit by saying that Jim would end up alone because he wasn’t able to let go of what Greg had called his ridiculous need to be at sea. 

‘Guess you were wrong.’ he said. ‘Now, I really need to go. Ross is probably wondering where the hell I’ve gone.’ He ducked past them both, not waiting for them to say goodbye and headed into the crowd. But even as he made his way back, Jim couldn’t help the twinge at what Greg had said. It was something that he was vulnerable to, the thought of being alone. It had always been the one thing guaranteed to upset him and Greg had known that and used it.

Ross was waiting for him at the appointed spot. He had his phone out and as Jim approached he looked up and smiled when he saw him.

‘There you are.’ he said. ‘I was about to come find you.’ He saw the look on Jim’s face and his dark brows drew down. ‘Hey, you okay babe?’ 

‘I’m fine.’ Jim said, but it sounded hollow in his ears. Ross didn’t look very convinced.

‘Are you sure?’ he asked and Jim nodded, taking a deep breath and pulling himself together. He smiled and Ross’ concerned expression eased.

‘Absolutely.’ he said, clocking the bags in Ross’ hand. ‘Now are you going to show me what horrors of Victorian craftsmanship you’ve bought to go on our tree?’ The distraction worked and Ross nodded. 

‘Can we go get lunch though?’ he asked. ‘I’m fucking starving.’

‘You only had breakfast at ten.’ Jim said, grinning for real now at Ross’ ability to get hungry at the drop of a hat. 

‘So?’ Ross said, his tone announcing the fact that he knew but didn’t care. ‘I’m hungry now.’

‘Fine.’ Jim held out his hand and Ross took it. ‘Let’s go feed you.’

*********

He was feeling much better after lunch, having sat and watched Ross plough through his food in that determined way that seemed to be the hallmark of the land based armed forces. He was now on his second cup of coffee and a piece of cheesecake that was about the size of his head. He’d offered to share it, but Jim could only eat one spoonful at a time and had demurred after the first one. And then the worst possible thing happened. 

‘Oh hello again.’ Charlie’s voice cut across Jim’s thoughts and he looked up to see him and Greg standing next to their table and looking at them, Charlie with an expression of frank curiosity at Ross and Greg scowling. He saw Ross frown and sighed.

‘Ross, you remember Greg don’t you?’ he said and Ross looked at him, his look of startled surprise making him look stupidly cute. Jim was actually quite pleased because Charlie’s face was priceless as he gave Ross the once over. 

‘Oh. Yeah, I think.’ Ross said and for once Jim was pleased that his famously bad memory for faces was intact. ‘Your ex, right?’

‘Something like that.’ Greg replied and his mouth was set in a humourless line. He looked over at a table where the waiter was waiting expectantly. ‘We actually just popped in for lunch. Come on, Charlie. Let’s leave them to it.’ He stalked off and Charlie gave them a quick wave and went off after them. Jim watched them go and turned back to see Ross looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

‘So that’s why you’re so fucking grumpy.’ he said and Jim opened his mouth to protest then realised he didn’t need to.

‘Yes.’ he admitted. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t want to ruin your day.’ 

‘You didn’t.’ Ross said. ‘What did they say to upset you so much?’

‘Greg expressed considerable surprise that we are together because he was pretty sure I was going to die alone and the fact that I haven’t seems to have really pissed him off.’ Jim said. He reached over and took the spoonful of cheesecake from Ross hand and ate it. ‘Fuck. I know I shouldn’t let him get to me but…’

‘But nothing.’ Ross said, taking the spoon back. ‘You want me to go over there and punch him in his smug RAF face?’ 

‘No.’ Jim replied. He pushed his chair back. ‘Look, I’ll be back in a sec okay.’ He got up and left the table. Ross watched him go and then saw the smug looks from the pair a few tables away. That annoyed him. He caught the arm of a passing waiter and asked him for their bill. Then he contemplated what his next move should be.

*********

In the men’s room, Jim stood at the basin and took several deep breaths and berated himself for being an idiot. He couldn’t believe the reaction he was having to seeing Greg and Charlie, but then a lot of what he’d been feeling since he’d gotten back from Nicaragua hadn’t made sense to him. It was like being there those two months had scraped off every bit of old scar tissue and opened all the wounds from his entire life, until it hurt to even breathe. 

He heard the sound of the door behind him and looked up to see Ross standing with his back to the door. Their eyes locked in the mirror and then Jim turned around to face him. 

‘Ross…’ he started but Ross simple stormed across the space between them, his hands catching Jim’s face between them and kissing him like their very lives depended on it. His mouth was sweet from the cheesecake and his tongue pushed itself into Jim’s mouth, making Jim’s breath catch and his heart speed up. He kissed back, hands coming up to grab Ross’ shirt in both hands. He expected Ross to pull back, but instead Ross kept the kiss going. He moved one hand to the back of Jim’s head, holding him in place and upped the pace, his mouth relentless and demanding. 

Jim felt his whole body catch fire as it went on. Ross’ obvious passion was a massive turn on and he had Jim edged up against the ledge of the basin. This kind of semi-public display was so out of character for him that it was making Jim completely breathless, and then Ross put his hand on the front of his jeans and Jim couldn’t help the moan that escaped. He wrenched back from Ross, and stared at him in astonishment.

‘What are you doing?’ he asked, and his voice was rough with emotion and the driving desire to just let Ross do whatever he wanted to him.

‘Reminding you who you belong to.’ Ross said in his ear before starting a slow trail of open-mouthed kissed down the side of Jim’s neck. He kept his hand on him and squeezed and Jim had to bite his lip to keep quiet. 

‘Ross, we really can’t do this.’ he moaned. ‘This is the men’s room.’

‘Would you rather move to the ladies?’ Ross’ voice was wicked. His other hand left the back of Jim’s head and then both hands were on Jim’s belt, undoing it. ‘And don’t worry, I’ll be two shakes of a lamb’s tail.’ The deep chuckle into Jim’s neck threatened to undo him like nothing else could. He was so hard now there was no hiding it.

‘Fuck...’ he muttered. ‘I really should stop you.’ Ross moved back and his eyes were black.

‘So stop me, Lieutenant.’ he breathed over Jim’s mouth and then kissed him once more, deep and soft and then got to his knees, making Jim’s eyes widen as he realised what Ross was doing. He grabbed the edge of the basin in both hands, knuckles going white from effort. Ross had the buttons of his jeans undone and leaned in licking up Jim’s cock through his briefs. Jim watched him open-mouthed and panting softly as Ross stuck one hand down the front of his briefs and pulled him out. He looked up at Jim, his hazel eyes sparkling. ‘Want to bet I can’t get you off in under a minute?’

‘What do you win if I do?’ Jim breathed. 

‘I get to fuck you any way I want to when I get you home.’ Ross said and the myriad of filthy ideas that ran through Jim’s head at that made the first touch of Ross’ tongue on the head of his cock almost set him off immediately. He threw his head back, eyes losing as he drowned in the sensations of Ross dragging his tongue over him, then taking him as deep as he could. It was all Jim could do from crying out at how good it was and his hips moved of their own accord, trying to get as deep into Ross’ mouth as he could. He reached out with one hand, burying his fingers in thick dark hair and guided Ross’ head. True to his word, Ross was going at it like a man possessed, tongue working up and down Jim’s cock, and Jim could only hold on a few minutes before the heat surged through him and the tightening in his abdomen got too intense to block out and he came in Ross' mouth with a strangled noise that made him sound like he was dying.

Of course as providence would have it, that was the precise moment the door opened and Greg walked into the men’s room. 

Jim was mortified. Ross, on the other hand, pulled off, swallowed and then turned and gave Greg a casual up and down like he gave Jim blow jobs in public conveniences every day. 

‘All right, mate?’ he asked and Greg went beetroot red and retreated, slamming the door behind him. Ross laughed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before straightening Jim up and redoing his jeans and belt. He got to his feet, and leaned in to kiss him. The lazy drag of Ross’ tongue through his mouth bought the acrid taste of his own semen and it made Jim’s pulse stutter. When Ross pulled back, he grinned wickedly and nudged Jim’s nose with his. Then he stepped back, gave himself a once over in the mirror while running one hand through his hair and then walked out the men’s room leaving Jim fighting for breath and wondering who the hell that was and what he’d done with Ross. 

He eventually got his breathing under control, splashed some cold water on his overheated face and left the men’s room. Ross was standing at their table putting his pin code into the handheld payment machine before he gave it back to the waiter. He smiled as Jim approached and picked up Jim’s coat from the back of his chair and helped him on with it, a strangely gentlemanly gesture that Jim normally didn’t allow that often. But right now, it seemed perfectly fitting and when he stole a glance at Greg and Charlie’s table he saw that they were watching. It gave him a little thrill as did the way Ross placed a possessive hand at the small of his back and escorted him out the restaurant, the feel of Greg’s eyes burning a very pleasant hole between his shoulder blades.


	2. Quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is acting a little strange.

It took a week for Jim to broach the subject of what they had done in the restaurant bathroom. The whole event had left him a little distant and uncommunicative and Ross had grown increasingly uneasy with the silent treatment he was getting and wondering if he’d made an error of judgement. In an attempt to wangle something besides silence out of his boyfriend he’d hustled Jim out of the cottage that morning and now they were in Swanage, sitting at a window side table in the Corner restaurant. It was grey and miserable and Jim’s hands were still cold from walking on the beach. Ross preferred to wear his shooting gloves, shoving both hands in his pockets for extra warmth, but Jim seemed to have a strange immunity to cold, especially the ocean. He was sitting, one hand under his chin and watching Ross intently as Ross perused his menu and tried to decide what he wanted for lunch. It was always the same with him, he would take ages while Jim would briefly glance and decide in the first minute. The whole time he was aware that Jim was watching him. He knew something was coming and wasn't disappointed whe Jim spoke a minute later.

‘That was very out of character for you.’ Jim’s voice was thoughtful. Ross didn't need to ask what he meant by that.

‘Not completely.’ Ross replied. He was still a little amazed at his own bravery, of the illicit nature of their encounter in the restaurant bathroom. ‘And maybe I like being a little unpredictable. Besides,’ He gave Jim a quick glance. ‘I wanted to show you that all that shit is in the past where it belongs. Done and dusted and long buried. You’re with me now, you have been for a long time. You are never going to end up alone because I will always be with you. And maybe if I jump on you occasionally, you’ll remember that.’

‘It’s not a case that I forget it, Ross.’ Jim replied and he shifted to look out the window. It gave Ross pause because he knew this now. That avoidance which was how Jim dealt with things that were making him uncomfortable. His forthright boyfriend who would suddenly withdraw and be as inaccessible as a distant landmark. He’d been doing a lot of that since he got back, and Ross knew that it would be up to him to get Jim back. 

September had been when he’d discovered it was needed. October and November had been when he’d discovered he could give it and learned what it was that was needed. That he could reach down into the dark waters that Jim drowned in and lift him up to float with him, to keep him from getting so lost that he couldn’t find his way back. Just like Jim had done for him a year before when Ross had thought he was as close to falling too far behind to even be worth saving anymore. Back then, Jim hadn’t given up on him and now it was his turn. And he’d been doing it. 

It had taken a little while to get the dynamics in play. It was so hard for Jim to ask for things that Ross had largely been running on instinct. He’d had to work extra hard to chart the demons that chased Jim through the night and far into the morning beyond because, unlike him, Jim kept his sadness hidden behind a bright smile and a breezy manner that the unschooled would have taken for being okay. 

Ross knew better now. 

But now he also knew what he had to do to get Jim to leave it all behind, even if it was only an hour or two.

He went back to looking at his menu and let his mind get to work.

**********

It was dark by the time they got home and Jim hadn’t spoken once on the drive back. 

Ross turned the car off and undid his seatbelt, opened the door and was about to get out when he noticed that Jim wasn’t doing the same. He looked over at Jim who just sat there, still lost in thought. He reached out and put his hand on Jim’s arm and Jim started in surprise, scaring both of them.

‘Fuck.’ Ross said, smiling. ‘Don’t fucking do that.’

‘Sorry.’ Jim’s return smile was apologetic and didn’t quite reach his eyes. He undid his seat belt and got out the car without looking back. Ross watched him go, watched as Jim dug out his keys and unlocked the front door and went inside without even waiting for him. He got out and locked the car then followed and as he did he realised he’d need to do something drastic. 

Ross got inside and saw that Jim had already gone upstairs. He took off his coat and hung it up then emptied his pockets onto the console table. After this he went into the living room with the Christmas decorations he’d bought, setting them down on the bookshelf. He’d set the fire before they had left and, after stumbling around in the dark for a while, it didn’t take very long to get it going. The sound of Jim’s footsteps came from upstairs and Ross knew that he’d eventually come down once he’d put Rose’s present away. That gave him enough time to go into the back room and do the same there, then pull the armchair away from the wall. He positioned it in the centre of the room facing the fire so it would be at Jim’s back.

Unlike what he and Jim did in the back room, the things he did for Jim didn’t need a ritualised setting or the extensive build up that he required. With himself, Ross had discovered that he liked to be eased into things and that the anticipation of what he and Jim did was just as much part of the scene as the actual play itself. He liked to have the time for his brain to start to sink into that lovely space before he dropped. But with Jim, he couldn’t give him the time to think about it. With Jim it was necessary to strike without warning, that Jim felt like he could only give in to what he needed, what he wanted, if the decision was taken out of his hands which was of course the whole point. 

The sound of Jim coming back downstairs set the idea firmly in Ross’ head. He heard Jim pass by the living room and go into the kitchen. Ross got back up and followed. He found Jim filling the kettle at the sink and watched as he went over to the counter and put it on. Then he walked forward and very deliberately put a hand at the back of Jim’s neck, squeezing ever so slightly and smile as he felt every bit of tension drain out of Jim’s body.

‘Yes?’ he asked and Jim sighed, almost as if in relief.

‘Yes.’ he replied. 

‘Say it.’ Ross said and Jim leaned back into his hand. ‘What do you say if you want me to stop?’

‘Panama.’ he replied and Ross took his hand away.

‘And if you can’t speak?’

‘Two taps.’ Jim replied, right on cue. That satisfied Ross’ requirements.

‘Take off your clothes and come in the back room.’ he ordered, his voice changing. Jim responded well to his authoritative tone and didn’t need any physical restraints to follow orders. Unlike Ross, he didn’t like to push, to test his boundaries or provoke. He simply wanted someone else to lead their dance for a while. 

Ross moved to the cupboard where they kept the herbs and spices and dug around, coming out with the lube they had stashed there, a little nod to a funny tradition they’d started in Ross’ house. Jim hadn’t moved and Ross didn’t look at him as he passed, simply walked out and into the living room. His pulse was already speeding up in anticipation of what they were going to do.

He made sure the fire was high enough then sat down in the armchair and waited, tucking the lube down the side for safekeeping. It didn’t take too long before he heard the sound of Jim’s bare feet and watched as he came into the room, the firelight bouncing off Jim’s skin making patterns of shadow and light. They always did it like this, with the only illumination coming from the fire. Ross was entranced by it and his gaze dropped to Jim’s cock, already hard. It didn’t take much for him to be aroused when they did this.

Jim moved slowly, almost as if he was sleepwalking, but Ross didn’t chastise him. He waited patiently, knowing that he could never rush this with him once the scene was in play. Jim was still getting up the courage to let all his defences down, something Ross had been doing for months now, and so it was not as easy for him. Jim still had to get through the place where he was the responsible one, the one who was the caretaker, the one who controlled. It had been quite a learning curve they had both been on. 

‘Come here.’ Ross said and sat back in the armchair, knees spread for what was about to happen. He waited until Jim got to where he was standing right in front of him. ‘On your knees.’ Jim flinched ever so slightly at his brusque tone but Ross knew that was just him fighting with himself, something that Jim had clarified when he’d expressed concern the first time Jim had done it.

Jim was slow to move but he did as Ross ordered, dropping first to one knee then to the other. Ross let him get comfortable, sitting back on his heels and only then did he give Jim a thorough look. He was getting really good at reading Jim’s signs and he could see that he was on his way. Surprisingly Jim dropped extremely fast once he’d gone through the mental barrier and his slide into sub-space was effortless. It was a matter of minutes for his pupil’s to become completely dilated and his body to respond to what it knew was coming without even being touched. It was somewhat astounding to Ross, who responded to ritualization and stimuli in such a different way. Jim’s submission was not so much a submission to Ross as it was a submission to himself, a way to allow himself to not have to think but to just be. Ross was actually a little mystified that they’d never thought of this before.

He looked down at Jim, sitting there as still as he was when he was out on the ocean, head bowed and his beautiful face in shadow. He listened to Jim’s breathing, hearing it slow and deepen and smiled at the knowledge that for these moments there was nothing else but the two of them. He’d always wondered what Jim felt when he was in charge of their play and now he could understand the weight of it, the responsibility that lay upon his shoulders and how privileged he felt to know that Jim trusted him enough to take him that close to the edge but never hurt him. 

Ross reached out, hand to Jim’s cheek and Jim leaned into his touch, his breath catching. His eyes remained averted and Ross knew that it was because he was trying to unsuccessfully hide what he was feeling. It was part of the scene now and he moved his hand to tilt Jim’s head up, forcing him to look at him. Still, Jim managed to keep doing it and Ross tightened his grip on Jim’s chin, feeling the first surges of heat through him as he took control. 

‘Look at me.’ he said and Jim closed his eyes, the simple gesture showing Ross that he needed to be pushed just a little harder. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to do. He reached for the back of Jim’s head, grabbing the thick blond hair and yanking Jim’s face. It wasn’t gentle and Jim couldn’t quite catch the inadvertent gasp he let out and it sent a thrill through Ross that went all the way to his toes. He looked down into the blue-green eyes, now widened as Jim fought to keep his breathing steady. He was already going under, the wave of sensation taking him without him even trying, and Ross knew he was at the stage where he would do anything. He let Jim go and got to his feet, shoving the chair back against the wall, then stood directly in front of Jim. The contrast between them was startling, him still fully clothed and Jim on his knees naked in front of him. His head had dropped again.

‘Look at me.’ Ross said, more insistently this time. ‘Look at me and tell me what you want.’ He stroked the top of Jim’s head, his tough light and gentle. ‘I need you to tell me.’ Jim kept quiet and then, oh so slowly, looked up at him. This was the hardest part for him, the acknowledgement that he needed this. It was why Ross made him say it out loud, every time.

‘I want the quiet.’ Jim replied, his voice barely above a whisper. ‘I want you to make the noise go away.’ Ross took his face in his hands and looked into the clear blue-green eyes. Then he lifted his hand and hit Jim as hard as he could. The blow knocked Jim’s head down and to the left. It would be hard enough to make Jim’s ears ring and when he looked back up at Ross, there was a fierce glow on his skin and his eyes were shining.

They had talked about this before when Ross had first asked Jim to hit him. They had had a close call when Ross had pushed and pushed and Jim had finally safeworded out, unwilling to inflict the kind of harm Ross had wanted. And while Ross used it to hit that sweet edge he craved like a drug, Jim used it to still himself. This would be the only time Ross would hit him today. 

There were other things though.

Ross watched as Jim’s eyes dropped down once more. He knew what was coming but always didn’t want to look too eager. He moved forward and noticed the way Jim’s breathing quickened. 

‘Undo them.’ he said and Jim shivered visibly. ‘Do it.’ Jim raised his hands slowly, and Ross saw they were shaking. He was well on his way down, letting the strain of being he who he was start to wash away. They came to rest on the waistband of Ross’ jeans, deftly undoing the buttons and tugging them open. Ross kept his breathing as even as he could, but the light brush of Jim’s fingertips against his cock was driving him crazy, more so than normal because he could feel the hesitancy in the touches. He never got to see Jim like this ordinarily, never got to see his fear or temerity because he was Jim. He was the one who had an answer for everything and was so confident that Ross frequently felt like a gauche wallflower next to him. 

Jim had worried that seeing his vulnerability would make Ross stop loving him. Ross knew now that seeing Jim’s vulnerability only made him love him more and also made him fiercely protective. Here, like this, he was the strong one.   
‘Take it out.’ he said and Jim obeyed, pulling Ross’ cock out of his briefs. He looked up, asking permission and Ross smiled at him, then shook his head. 

‘Ask for it.’ he said and Jim blushed and looked back down again, breaking eye contact. That was even better, seeing his borderline arrogant man shaking like a teenager. ‘You won’t get what you want until you ask for it.’ He heard Jim breathe in deeply through his nose, the sound of it a little strained.

‘Please.’ he managed, his voice almost a whisper. ‘I want it.’ His shaking was worse now as his internal conflict neared its end.

‘What?’

‘I want you.’ Jim’s voice broke a little, and Ross’ heart jumped. He loved this moment when Jim gave in, handed control over to him. The knowledge that it was so hard won made it all the more arousing. Not just that, but the demonstration of love and trust between them never failed to take Ross’ breath away. ‘I want to to…’ he trailed off. Ross gave him a moment before he prompted him.

‘Jim?’ Jim’s breathing was shallow, soft pants that tore at Ross’ heart. Finally he looked up again. Ross knew what he was going to say. It was always the same.

‘I want you to use me.’ he breathed and that was the signal that Ross needed, that told him Jim was where he needed to be. He moved back to sit in the chair and spread his knees. 

‘You know what to do.’ he said, and watched the eagerness flood Jim’s face again. He shuffled forward on his knees, and from this vantage point Ross could see how hard Jim was. He got to Ross, bracing himself against Ross knees and took Ross’ cock in his mouth. 

Ross let his head fall back, the warmth and wetness of Jim’s mouth luring him into a wonderful place where he could sit like this all afternoon. He placed one hand on Jim’s head, not quite holding him in place, and rode it out as Jim moved up and down in a steady rhythm. The light from the fire burnished Jim’s hair, making it red gold. Ross ran his fingers through it, contemplating the next step in their game. Then, without warning, he tightened his fingers in it and thrust up hard into Jim’s mouth. 

Jim’s first instinct was to pull up, but Ross kept his grip punishingly tight and this time he held Jim’s head down. He kept going, fucking Jim’s mouth as hard as he would fuck his body later and felt the struggle under his hand as Jim’s gag reflex kicked in. He made no noise of protest though and his hands on Ross’ knees were still. Jim needed this, needed to let Ross take him as far as he was able to. After a moment, Ross felt him suddenly relax, his mouth lax and open, and moved his hips faster. It felt so good and he told Jim that.

‘I love this.’ he said, knowing he could because Jim couldn’t see him. ‘I love fucking your mouth until you choke on me. I love that you trust me this much, that you let me own you like this. That you need me to even let you breathe.’ Jim was moaning now, Ross’ words doing their job. Ross kept going, feeling his orgasm coming on, powerful and deep seated, like molten steel in his belly. He let himself get right to the edge, gritting his teeth to keep himself, and then hauled Jim’s mouth off him and hearing Jim’s cry as he came, needing nothing but the hand in his hair to get him off, his semen a white line along the dark floorboards. 

They sat like that, both of them breathing heavily and then Ross let go of Jim’s head. He pushed at him, just hard enough for Jim to understand the unspoken instruction and move back to give Ross room to get up. He sat, head down and eyes closed and the knuckles of his hands resting lightly on the floor next to him. Ross steadied himself as a wave of adrenaline hit him. 

‘Get up.’ he said and Jim did as he was told. He was a little unsteady on his feet like Ross had been and when Ross placed one hand on Jim’s hip, he shuddered. Ross ran the other hand down his side, and the low moan Jim let out told him that Jim was far gone, reacting on instinct to his touch. Ross leaned forward, kissing along his stomach and Jim leaned into him. Ross reached around him and trailed his fingers along Jim’s lower back, feeling the sweat collected there. ‘You good to go?’

‘Yes.’ Jim breathed and Ross squeezed once, very lightly. 

‘Come here.’ he said and Jim came to him, straddling Ross’ legs and standing over his lap. Ross dug in the side of the chair for the lube, slicking up the fingers of his right hand and pushing two into him. Jim caught his breath and leaned over him, hands brace on the arms of the chair. Ross worked efficiently, being as rough as he wanted. This too was part of the game. He ignored the pained look on Jim’s face, knowing that if it got too much he would safeword. ‘Get on.’ Jim moved so he had one leg over each arm of the chair and Ross held onto him with one hand and grasped his own cock with the other, waiting for Jim as he lowered himself to take him in. 

The first contact was electric and Ross gave Jim just a moment to get into position before he grabbed Jim by the hips, fingers digging in and thrusting up hard. Jim cried out once, grimacing as Ross drove inside him but his dilated pupils and the moan that followed told Ross that he was still with him. He sank down on Ross’ cock, all the way until their bodies impacted and Ross moaned with him as he felt Jim clench uncontrollably around him. 

‘Fuck…’ he muttered and then reached up, hand back in Jim’s hair. He looked at him and saw that Jim was back to his shallow breathing. ‘You good?’ Jim was unfocused but he manage to lock eyes with Ross briefly. He nodded. Ross gave him a shake. ‘Say it.’

‘I’m good.’ Jim replied, his voice shaking. ‘Keep going.’ He dropped his head to Ross shoulder and Ross started to move, slowly at first then harder as he got a rhythm. It was so good, and Jim was panting hard into his shoulder. Ross tightened his grip on him and held him tightly as he bit down on the slope of Jim’s shoulder. Jim hissed, in pain or pleasure Ross wasn’t sure. He quickened his pace, planting his feet into the floor until Jim was bouncing on his lap. It didn’t take much longer, his rough treatment of Jim earlier making him oversensitive to touch. He could feel the oncoming tremors and yanked Jim’s head back by the hair.

‘Look at me.’ he ordered and Jim did, blue-green eyes black with pleasure and Ross reached up with his free hand to catch him around the throat, squeezing just hard enough for Jim to completely lose it. He threw his head back almost violently and came hard, semen striping Ross’ chest and his orgasm triggering Ross into following him seconds later. It was like being electrocuted, Ross’ whole body almost lifting him and Jim off the chair in its intensity.

When he finally reached something resembling consciousness, Ross reached up and ran a soothing hand down Jim’s sweat slick back. He licked softly at the bite mark he’d left, then dropped kisses along Jim’s shoulder to his neck. 

‘You still with me?’ he asked softly and Jim shook his head. Ross knew what he needed and gently pushed him back up into an upright position. Jim was beautifully flushed, the colour high on his cheeks and his eyes glazed over. ‘I think we need to get you to bed.’ Jim gave him a shaky nod and Ross gathered him back to him. It took a moment to manoeuvre himself out of Jim and then he managed to get him across his lap, one arm around his back and the other under his knees. Ross hauled him in close and cuddled him to his chest and Jim curled up like a child. He stroked Jim’s hair and hummed to him until he felt his breathing even out. ‘You okay to get up?’

‘In a bit.’ Jim murmured and Ross smiled against his temple. 

‘Okay, babe. In a bit.’ he replied.


	3. Oh, Christmas Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They buy a tree. And some stuff happens.

Jim frowned, the line between his gold eyebrows a little more stern than normal.

‘It’s not going to fit.’ he said, doubt colouring his voice.

‘It bloody will fit.’ Ross said, huffing in annoyance. He had had his last three choices rejected and was damned if this one was going to be as well. His sulky expression made Jim smile and then quickly reassume a straight face when Ross glared at him. 

‘It won’t, you know.’ he replied. ‘And then you’re going to be fucked off because you’ll have to cut the top off.’

‘I will not.’ Ross said, folding his arms defensively. He looked over for back up. ‘Rose tell your son that this one will fit please, otherwise we’ll be here all bloody day.’ 

‘Actually, I think it may be a smidgen too tall duckie.’ Rose said. She was grinning from ear to ear having been witness to the bickering that had started almost as soon as they got to the garden centre.

‘Fine, side with him.’ Ross snorted. ‘Just because you gave birth to him.’

‘Drama queen.’ Jim laughed and went off in search of a suitable alternative. Rose smiled and came to take Ross’ arm. 

‘What did you do?’ she asked. ‘He’s like a new person.’ Ross smiled back.

‘Oh, nothing.’ he replied and Rose narrowed her eyes at him.

‘I don’t want to know, do I?’ she asked and Ross laughed.

‘No, you really don’t.’ he said. They walked along behind Jim who was marching ahead with the look of a man on a mission. He finally stopped and pointed.

‘That one.’ he said decisively and they walked to catch up to him. Ross frowned.

‘It’s a little small.’ he said and Jim shook his head at him.

‘You’re obsessed with size.’ he replied.

‘Clearly not, or I wouldn’t be living with you.’ Ross retorted and Jim’s eyes widened in outrage.

‘Oh, you didn’t.’ he said, and Rose stepped back from the distinctly snippy note in his voice. 

‘Now you’ve done it.’ she said to Ross. ‘Have you no sense of self-preservation? You know how short-tempered he is.’ There was a slight emphasis on the word 'short'.

‘Apparently not.’ Ross said, also stepping back slightly, but unable to keep himself from grinning like a maniac. ‘Come on, babe. You know I didn’t mean it like that.’

‘That actually makes it worse.’ Jim snapped. ‘I’m going to find the guy, buy the damn tree and then wreak a horrible and bloody revenge on you for the short joke, Poldark. See if I don’t. You too, Mother.’ Ross and Rose looked at each other and they couldn’t help it. The snickers that escaped bubbled into full blown laughter and Jim watched them with disgust written all over his face. Then he stomped off. 

‘Christ.’ Rose said, wiping her eyes. ‘Now we’re both going to cop it.’ She smacked Ross in the arm. ‘You’re a terrible influence.’

‘Me?’ Ross said. ‘You’re the one that raised him to be so sensitive about his height.’ 

‘I had nothing to do with that.’ Rose declared loftily, sticking her nose in the air just like her son did. They watched Jim pay the guy at the front gate and then come back over. 

‘You two done?’ he asked and they nodded sheepishly. ‘Jesus fuck. It’s like being with two-year olds.’

‘Five and a half actually.’ Rose replied and stuck her tongue out at him. 

‘Sometimes I find it very hard to believe you’re actually my mother.’ Jim said. ‘It’s a bloody wonder I turned out as well-adjusted as I did.’ He moved to the tree. ‘And as for you.’ he said to Ross, ‘You’re only marginally more mature than she is. Which is saying fuck all. Now help me get this bloody tree in the bloody car or Christmas is cancelled.’ 

‘Grinch.’ Ross muttered as he went to help him.

*********

They got the tree home and into the living room, weighing it down with some broken paving they’d found down the bottom of the back garden. Ross and Rose were in the living room while Jim made tea. Port and Starboard had commandeered the sofa and were watching them decorate the tree.

‘These are lovely.’ Rose said. She was kneeling on the floor and handling the delicate glass and ceramic decorations that he’d bought in Winchester. ‘The tree’s going to look beautiful.’ She smiled. ‘I am so glad we’re doing this.’

‘Me too.’ Ross replied, draping dark green tinsel around the top half of the tree. ‘It’s weird. My family always goes flat out at Christmas, but I never ever wanted any part of it. This is the first year I actually feel like celebrating.’ He shrugged. ‘This is the first time Christmas feels real, if that makes any sense.’

‘It does.’ Rose replied. ‘And I am very glad you’re letting me share it.’ Ross went over and kissed the top of her head.

‘I wouldn’t have it any other way, Mom.’ he said and her face lit up, just like it had done the first time he’d said that word to her when he’d been sick while Jim was gone, lost in a humid green country and going a little mad. When he looked at her, Rose’s eyes, the same ocean hue as her son’s, were misty. 

‘You know it’s not fair to make your mother cry at Christmas.’ she said. ‘Give me a minute and go find out what’s keeping my tea.’ Ross left her to it, walking out the living room and into the kitchen with a long piece of tinsel still in one hand. There was a strange pain in his chest, a reaction to what had just happened. It hurt, but in a good way.

Jim was at the counter making the tea and half turned when Ross came in. He smiled at him, dimples flashing. 

‘Here.’ he said holding out one mug. ‘I put extra snark in yours.’ Ross laughed and went to him, taking the mug and putting it back down on the counter before lassoing Jim with the tinsel and hauling him in close enough to kiss him. Jim pretended to resist and laughed against Ross’ mouth. 

‘Have I told you how happy I am?’ Ross said when they separated. Jim nudged his nose with his.

‘Idiot.’ he said. ‘I love you. Even if you make jokes at my expense.’

‘Like you don’t.’ Ross replied. ‘And I love you too.’ He sighed and moved in closer and Jim put both arms around his neck. ‘Rose is a little sad.’

‘She always is round this time of year.’ Jim replied. ‘She misses him. And while she’s really happy to be here, it can make things worse sometimes.’ He stroked Ross’ hair out of his eyes. ‘She’s okay, Ross. It’s just that it never goes away for her.’ Their eyes met. 

‘If anything had happened to you over there, it wouldn’t for me either.’ Ross said, his voice catching as he leaned in so their foreheads were touching. 

‘I know.’ Jim replied. ‘I’m sorry for everything. For keeping you out, for going in the first place…’ he didn’t get any further as Ross kissed him quiet. 

‘We’re done with that.’ he murmured against Jim’s mouth. ‘No more. We’ve got each other back and now it’s us again.’ 

‘Always.’ Jim replied and kissed him back.

**********

They finished the tea and had lunch and then dragged a protesting Port and Starboard out and down to the beach. The wind was blowing hard, and the grass along the footpath whipped backwards and forwards as they tramped along. Rose was ahead, her bright red wellies an unexpected spot of colour against the earthy browns, greens and greys of the winter coast. Ross and Jim walked along side by side, shoulders bumping. 

The walk down the public footpath to the fields led them to a stile which they climbed over, before making their way down to the beach. The sea came into view, a sheet of slate green laced with white froth as the string wind churned the waves. Rose got to the beach first and threw the red rubber ball for the dogs, laughing as they went tearing off down the shingle. She trotted off after them, leaving Ross and Jim to amble along the waterline. 

The wind was biting and there was spray coming off the ocean. Ross watched Jim watch the water, his eyes drawn to the movement of the waves. 

‘I should be jealous.’ he remarked and Jim turned back to him, a questioning look on his face. ‘You never look at me like that.’

‘Bollocks.’ Jim retorted. ‘I look at you all the time like that. You just don’t notice because you usually have your head up your arse.’ There was a flash of dimples. ‘And it’s not a competition. And if you learned to sail properly, then you could come out with me and let me show you why I love it so much.’ Ross snorted and closed the distance between them. Jim’s mouth tasted like salt water. 

‘I’ll learn to sail with you when you learn to ride with me.’ he replied. ‘And there has to be a guarantee that you lot won’t try and dump me in the water like you did to each other last time.’ 

‘Cadet’s honour.’ Jim said with a grin. ‘Although I should warn you that that’s not worth very much.’

‘That’s something I am well aware of.’ Ross said. They fell back into walking, kicking at the small pebbles. ‘So Verity wants to come down on the twenty-third and stay the night.’

‘Yeah?’ Jim said, looking at where Rose was chasing the dogs in a circle. ‘She’ll need to sleep on the sofa bed. Not that she’ll mind.’

‘They.’ Ross corrected and Jim looked at him with raised eyebrows.

‘Oh, really?’ he asked and Ross nodded. ‘Now that sounds serious.’

‘She really likes him.’ Ross replied. ‘And by all accounts he likes her just as much.'

'Well, that's good isn't it?' Jim asked. 'Actually the girls wanted to stop by on their way up home, so we could make a night of it. Proper Christmas party?'

'I'll call the boys.' Ross said. 'The only thing is that apparently Andrew's allergic to peas.’

‘Well, he’s a submariner.’ Jim said. ‘They are a little odd.’ 

‘No worse than Chief Weapons Officers.’ Ross said, taking Jim’s gloved hand and pulling him into line with him.

‘Or Tank Commanders.’ Jim replied. He squeezed Ross’ hand. ‘Sounds like it’s turning out to be a good Christmas, Captain Poldark.’

‘Yes it is, Lieutenant Hawkins.’ Ross said.


	4. Forfeits and Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This lot should never be allowed to play Christmas Party Games.

Ross stood under the observation shelter, the rain drops dripping off the edge of his Kevlar helmet. It was pissing down, to put it mildly. Next to him, Lieutenant Kent sniffled loudly. Ross turned and looked at him pointedly. Kent sniffled again and dug a handkerchief out of his pocket. Ross nearly raised his eyebrows at that, thoroughly tickled by the fact that Kent even used one. Who did that anymore? Kent looked thoroughly miserable in spite of the tinsel currently tied around his neck.

‘Sorry, sir.’ he said and blew his nose noisily. ‘It’s the weather.’

‘Being cold doesn’t actually give you a cold, Lieutenant.’ Ross replied, hiding a smile. He couldn’t help but commiserate with the sentiment though. It was revolting out in the rain, which was practically moving sideways at this point. Still, training went ahead regardless of weather. They were both in their wet weather gear, but even that couldn’t quite keep the rain from sneaking in, just a little.

The radio at Ross’ belt crackled and he answered it. The voice that came through was Carter’s.

‘This is balls.’ he announced grandly. ‘I can’t believe we’re out in this shit on the day before Christmas Eve.’

‘You know this is an official channel, right?’ Ross asked with amusement colouring his voice as he walked out of earshot of Kent. ‘If Barrymore hears you, you’ll be in for it.’

‘Yeah well, he can come and sit out here in the bloody rain.’ Carter grumbled. ‘We still on for tonight, yeah?’

‘One Christmas party as promised.’ Ross replied and Carter laughed.

‘Good.’ he said. ‘Need us to bring anything.’

‘I’ll check with Jim.’ Ross replied. ‘To be honest, I have no idea what Rose and he have planned.’

‘Right.’ Carter said. ‘I’ll see you at the base, yeah?’

‘Later.’ Ross said and Carter laughed. The radio went silent and he walked back to Kent who was now peering through the rain towards the tanks in the distance.

‘Christmas party, sir?’ Kent said, grinning through his blocked nose. Ross laughed.

‘Christmas anarchy, more like it.’ he replied.

*********

‘He likes them.’ Rose protested. She put the bag of Brussel sprouts back in the trolley.

‘You don’t have to sleep in the same bed as him.’ Jim countered, taking them out again. Rose rolled her eyes.

‘I slept in the same bed as your father for seventeen years.’ she said. ‘Sometimes we grin and bear it.’

‘And sometimes we don’t.’ Jim replied. He picked up a bag of carrots and put it in instead. ‘Compromise.’ Rose checked the list on her phone.

‘Alcohol next.’ she said, pushing the trolley down the aisle. Jim walked alongside her and she smiled at him. Jim caught the look.

‘What?’ he asked and Rose gave him a little shrug, one he could read all too well. ‘Spit it out, Rose.’

‘You.’ she said and stopped. ‘I don’t know what Ross has done, but it’s like the last eight months never happened.’ She reached up and cupped Jim’s cheek. ‘You’re you again.’

‘I never wasn’t me.’ Jim replied, returning her smile. ‘I just got a bit lost for a while.’ He sighed. ‘I’m not all the way back yet either.’

Will you be ready for next month?’ Rose asked.

‘It’s not so long this time.’ Jim replied. ‘Three months each with a month in between. It’ll be fine.’ He bumped her shoulder gently with his. ‘I’m looking forward to Oman. It wil make a nice change from this fucking weather.’

‘He’s going to miss you badly.’ Rose said. ‘He doesn’t say it, but I can tell.’

‘He’s been spoiled having me home for this long.’ Jim said. ‘So have you. It’s not going to happen again. I have my career to think of.’

‘I know.’ Rose said. ‘I wouldn’t want to keep you here. Neither would he.’ She stood and looked at the bottles lining the shelves. ‘How much do we need?’ Jim looked at her.

‘Do you really need to ask that?’ he said.

‘Righty-ho.’ Rose said and started packing bottles into the space that was left in the trolley.

********

At four thirty, Ross pulled into the parking lot at the admin block in Bovington. He had finished the morning exercises and needed to fill in paperwork and then sign out and head back to the cottage. Verity and Andrew were due to get there at around five. Carter, Demelza, Holmewood and Angelina were all coming through when they finished work and Alec, Harry, Preston and Halford were going to join them on their way to Watchet. Harry had had his wisdom tooth out and was on the last of a course on antibiotics so he had pulled the driving stick. They had offered to let them sleep on any available surface but it had been declined because they only had a few days off.

He went into the training block and headed for the office he shared with three other officers. Only Winslow was in, sitting at his desk with a hat made out of tinsel and shaped like a Christmas tree on. Ross took off his waterproof and hung it up, then removed his beret and stuck it under his left flash. Winslow heard the noise and looked up. He saw Ross and gave him a grin.

‘You know the drill, Poldark.’ he said. ‘When you’re in, it goes on.’ Ross sighed and went to his desk, picking up his antlers and putting them on, making the bells attached to the green ribbons at the base of each one jingle. He’d discovered that bizarre traditions were no stranger to the training regiment either. The whole department was engaged in a bizarre form of Christmas chicken that required them to wear their designated headgear in the office. If they didn’t they would have to buy a round at the official regimental Christmas party. Ross was already up to three. Thankfully Winslow was kind enough to remind him every now and then. He was still at a loss however why they thought antlers were so appropriate for him and why it made the admin staff giggle so much when they saw him with them on.

He sat down and turned on his computer, then typed out the required training report. His mobile was on the desk and it vibrated. Ross reached for it and read the message.

_Vee’s here._

Ross frowned and typed out a reply.

_She’s early._

_I know. Not a problem. Just thought I’d let you know we’ve already started drinking._

The next picture was an open bottle of prosecco. Ross sighed.

_Bastard. I’m still stuck here for another hour._

_Well, you’ll just have to catch up when you get home. <3 u._

Winslow was grinning at his exasperated expression.

‘Jim?’ he asked. Ross nodded.

‘The fucker’s rubbing it in that he’s already started drinking.’ he said.

‘Yeah, Claire’s been doing that as well.’ Winslow said. ‘She had a half day today and now her whole office is in the pub.’ He sat back and stuck his hands behind his head. ‘You finished Jim’s present?’

‘It’s done.’ Ross said smiling. ‘Although I have had to practically threaten to cut his balls off to keep him out the shed. He’s a nosy bugger.’

‘Like Marie.’ Winslow laughed. His daughter was five and far too clever for her own good. ‘Me and Claire have to keep moving her presents around so she doesn’t find the bleeding things.’

‘Except Jim’s twenty-eight.’ Ross said with a grin. ‘You’d think he’d have grown out of it by now.’ Winslow laughed loudly. A head stuck itself in the door. It was Barrymore and both Ross and Winslow had to bite their lips not to laugh out loud. He was wearing a hat shape like a chimney with two black boots sticking out the top of it.

‘Poldark.’ he said. ‘Got a minute?’ Ross nodded.

‘Of course, sir.’ he said and got up, following Barrymore from the office. They walked down the corridor to the corner office Barrymore occupied. Once inside Barrymore nodded for Ross to close the door. He did and then sat in the chair Barrymore indicated. Neither of them removed their headgear (rules were rules).

‘Poldark, I have an…issue.’ Barrymore said. Ross frowned.

‘What kind of issue, sir?’ he asked and Barrymore made a face that suggested he wasn’t entirely comfortable.

‘Normally I wouldn’t ask, but this has come to the attention of Captain Farland. There is a recruit in his new training squad who is having a particularly hard time. They’ve only been here a week but the tension is causing problems.’

‘Any particular reason why?’ Ross asked and Barrymore looked meaningfully at him. ‘Oh…’

‘We like to think of ourselves as a forward thinking service, Poldark.’ he said. ‘But it’s not a surprise to you I’m sure to know that homophobia does rear its ugly head every now and then. And, just like racism and sexism, it’s something we don’t approve of.’

‘No, of course not.’ Ross said. ‘So what exactly do you want me to do?’

‘The lad’s in Farland’s office now.’ Barrymore said. ‘He’s on report for fighting.’

‘What happened?’ Ross asked.

‘They were on a march and someone said something about people of his sexual orientation about not being able to keep up with the quote ‘real men’.’ Barrymore said. ‘Hamilton look exception and words were exchanged. A further comment was made at a water stop and a punch was thrown. Right now he’s making noises about wanting to leave.’

‘The unit?’ Ross asked and Barrymore shook his head.

‘The army.’ he replied. ‘The thing is the boy shows remarkable aptitude. He got fast tracked into the officer’s programme for disadvantaged youngsters. He’s come out top in his classes and it would be a great pity if we were to lose him.’ His shrewd blue-grey eyes fixed on Ross. ‘That’s where you come in.’ Ross couldn’t help a wry grin.

‘Nothing like being the queer poster boy.’ he said.

‘It’s not meant like that, but yes. I know you don’t exactly make it public, but you also don’t hide it like a lot of others. And your sexual orientation does come in useful.’ Barrymore said. ‘Not only are you one of our most decorated officers in the training department but you’ve seen extensive action in service.’ He leaned his chin on his hand. ‘You make a fine role model for our gay soldiers.’

‘Jesus.’ Ross laughed. ‘That’s the first time anything like that has ever been said to me. Sir.’ He looked at Barrymore. ‘What do you want me to do?’

‘Talk to him.’ Barrymore said. ‘Maybe tell him that there other ways to fight this. Tell him he can join your training squad if he wants to. That we need him and value him here and he shouldn’t let those wankers win.’ Ross grinned.

‘Is that a technical term, sir?’ he asked and Barrymore gave him one of his quick return grins, wolfish and sharp.

‘So, you’ll do it?’ he asked and Ross nodded.

‘I’ll do it.’ he said.

***********

Sub-Altern Hamilton wasn’t what Ross expected. He was not the usual upper middle class graduates from Sandhurst that came into the Tank Regiment’s Officer Corps training programme.

The young man sitting in front of him was the exact image of what the man featured in the Blairite Hug-A-Hoodie campaign would have looked like. He would not have been out of place on a council estate. Except of course that he was wearing jungle camo fatigues and a surly expression.

Ross took a deep breath and walked into Farland’s office. Hamilton heard him, looked around and stood up, coming sharply to attention and saluting. Ross returned it.

‘Are you Hamilton?’ Ross asked, even though he knew he was. Hamilton nodded. He had a broad freckled face and dark eyes. His looked wary. Then he seemed to notice then antlers Ross was still wearing (rules were rules) an the wariness changed to confusion.

‘Yes, sir.’ he said, sounding very unsure.

‘I’m Captain Poldark.’ Ross said and stepped forward, hand out. Hamilton looked at it in surprise and then shook it.

‘Sir?’ he asked.

‘Captain Farland has asked me to have a word with you, about transferring to my training group.’ Ross said and there was a flicker of surprise across the young soldier’s face.

‘Oh.’ he said. Ross gave him a smile.

‘I think this might go better in my office. Come on.’ he said and Hamilton followed him out the room.

They got to Ross’ office and Winslow took one look at them and realised something was up. He got up and walked out, giving Ross a raised eyebrow behind Hamilton’s back. Ross gave a slight shake of his head and then turned his attention to Hamilton who was now staring at the impressive contraption on Winslow’s head. Ross hid a smile.

‘Sit.’ he said and Hamilton did. He swallowed noisily and Ross could see he was nervous. ‘You want anything?’

‘Sir?’ Hamilton’s freckled face seemed to be getting paler. ‘I’m not quite sure why you’ve been asked to talk to me.’

‘Well, that’s very simple.’ Ross replied. ‘Major Barrymore seems to think you’ll do better in my squad.’ He sighed and sat down opposite Hamilton, stretching his legs out under the desk.

‘Begging your pardon sir, but I don’t.’ Hamilton said flatly, and Ross was pleased to see the fight in him wasn’t completely gone. ‘Changing squads is not going to make a difference. I know he probably told you what happened.’

‘He did.’ Ross confirmed. ‘Why do you think that it wouldn’t make a difference?’

‘Because there’s going to be idiots who think they can have a go at me all over the place.’ Hamilton said. ‘And I can look after myself. I just don’t think that the army can support me in this. And I’m not going to hide who I am because a bunch of dickheads think that I’m going to look at their cocks in the shower. Sir.’ His voice was defiant. Ross sighed.

‘No-one’s asking you to hide, Hamilton.’ he said. ‘And you’re right. There are bigoted dickheads everywhere. But having me in your corner will help.’

‘And how the hell will you help me? Sir.’ Hamilton retorted. His tone was bordering on insubordinate. It sounded so familiar to Ross that he couldn’t help smiling. He nodded at a framed picture on his desk, turned away from Hamilton, a picture that he looked at every morning.

‘What do you think that is?’ he asked and Hamilton blinked in surprise at the question.

‘A picture of your family.’ he replied and Ross nodded.

‘It is.’ he said. Rose had taken it the last time they had gone to visit her in Watchet. They had been on the beach and Ross had seen the camera pointed their way and tackled Jim, arms around his chest to hold him still long enough for Rose to take the shot. She had caught them laughing, Jim’s face half turned to look at Ross with love written all over it. It was his favourite picture of them. He leaned forward and picked it up, then held it out to Hamilton. Hamilton leaned forward and took it. The astonishment on his face when he saw the picture made Ross smile.

‘This…’ he trailed off.

‘He’s my partner.’ Ross said. ‘He’s a Lieutenant in the Royal Navy.’ Hamilton looked up, dark eyes wide.

‘So you’re…’

‘Gay?’ Ross said. ‘Yes, I am.’ He watched Hamilton look back at the picture. ‘There are plenty of us around, Hamilton.’

‘How long have you been together?’ Hamilton asked.

‘Two and a half years now.’ Ross said. Hamilton’s face looked wistful and Ross felt a tug at his heart when he recognised that look. It had been one he had worn when he was that age.

‘You look happy.’ Hamilton said and then seemed to come back into himself. He handed the picture back. ‘Look, I know that you’re trying to make me feel better. The problem is that I am not comfortable with…this.’ He shrugged. ‘I love the army, but I don’t feel like I belong here at the minute.’

‘I get that.’ Ross said. ‘I used to be right where you are. So if I can make things a little easier for you, then I will.’ He sighed. ‘Look, there are some right idiots in my squad. But they know about me. They know better than to call me out on it. They will accept you because they accept me. Quite frankly, they don’t actually give a toss by now. And Major Barrymore said your scores are excellent. I don’t think coming in halfway will do you any harm.’ Hamilton looked torn, his brows drawn down. ‘Look, you don’t have to make a decision now. I am off for Christmas and Boxing Day, but then I’ll be back. You have a couple of days to think about it.’

‘How did you do that sir?’ Hamilton asked.

‘What?’ Ross replied.

‘Get them to not give a toss.’ Hamilton said. Ross grinned.

‘In their first week, it got out that I live with another man.’ he said. ‘Every time I walked past on parade someone called me a fairy. Not to my face of course, just a little whispered word.’ He laughed.

‘I don’t think that’s very funny, sir.’ Hamilton said. ‘It’s bloody insubordinate.’

‘You have to learn how to pick your battles, Hamilton.’ Ross said. ‘The next day I turned up for parade and handed out sparkly wings and tiaras. And then I said to them that they could call me what they fucking liked, but I am their commanding officer and they would respect that. So if I'm a fairy and they're in my squad then they are all fairies by association. Then I said that they should be careful about what they were saying because this fairy could fucking hike them into the ground. Then I took them on a forty mile through the Purbecks. In their wings and tiaras. At the end of it, I was still standing. They weren’t.’ He grinned at the memory. After that, he’d taken them to the pub and bought them each a beer. His squad had been surprised, but they had also realised that was probably not a good idea to insult a man who could hike rings around them and who held the power to make them do the same. He looked at Hamilton and saw that the dark eyes were now less wary and more thoughtful. ‘Think about it and let me know.’

‘Yes, sir.’ Hamilton said.

‘Good. You’re dismissed.’ Ross said and Hamilton got up and saluted him. Ross waved him off and Hamilton started to walk out the office. At the door he stopped and turned around.

‘The antlers are very fetching, sir.’ he said and there was a flicker of a smile. ‘Have a Merry Christmas.’ Then he walked out. Ross sat back and smiled.

**********

‘No, like this.’ Rose said and Andrew frowned as he followed her example. He started cutting out the tiny pastry starts and sticking them to the open mince pies Rose was making. The pastry was sticking to his fingers and Verity snorted with laughter. She and Jim were sitting at the other end of the table peeling potatoes. ‘I think you need more flour on your fingers. And more alcohol in your glass.’ She refilled his glass and Andrew frowned at it then gave Verity a pleading look.

‘I really don’t think anyone should drink prosecco out of a highball.’ he said. Rose snorted.

‘And he calls himself a submariner?’ she said to Jim who grinned. She flicked Andrew’s shoulder with a dish towel. ‘You’re a disgrace to the service, Captain Blamey.’

‘We have alcohol limits on submarines.’ Andrew pointed out. ‘Otherwise we end up like the Astute.’ He met Jim’s eyes and they both started laughing. Verity looked at Rose questioningly.

‘Ran aground.’ Rose said by way of explanation.

‘How the fuck did they manage that?’ Jim said. ‘One billion pounds worth of nuclear sub just sitting there on a sandbank.’

‘Not paying attention.’ Andrew snickered. ‘They got the fucking hop for that, let me tell you.’

‘Jesus if we did that, Mark would made us walk the fucking plank.’ Jim replied. Andrew raised his glass in salute and drank.

The sound of a car pulling in set the dogs off and they ran to the front door from their sleeping spots under the table on Jim’s feet, barking. Jim got up, wiping his hands on his jeans and went to the hallway. He opened the front door and smiled when he saw the massive black Defender that Harry drove. The four of them more or less fell out the car, Preston galloping to the front door and flinging herself into Jim’s arms. He hugged her back and then got almost knocked off her feet as Halford joined in.

‘We’ve fucking missed you.’ Preston said. ‘It’s not fun being in the South Pacific without the person who knows all the words to South Pacific.’

‘Jesus.’ Jim laughed. He looked at Halford. ‘Fuck, you’re brown.’

‘No ozone will do that to you.’ Halford said as she and Preston let him go. She mussed his hair. ‘You look good.’

‘So do you.’ Jim replied. Halford’s serious green eyes met his and then she smiled a little. Jim knew she was satisfied with what she saw.

‘Hey.’ he looked around and got enveloped into the final piece of the hug. Alec’s grip was tight. Halford and Preston shared a look and stepped back. Jim sighed deeply, letting the familiarity of the hug take over. He felt Harry’s hand on his shoulder as he walked past, but Alec didn’t let him go just yet. This was the first time they had seen each other since before Jim’s deployment, but news travelled fast in the Navy.

‘Are you okay?’ Alec’s voice was steady, but Jim knew he was fighting to keep it like that.

‘I’m okay.’ he replied. ‘It’s been hard, but I’m okay.’

‘Good.’ Alec finally pulled back and took Jim’s face in his hands. ‘You little shit. The next time you decide to go play fucking James Bond, I am going to kick your arse. Or better yet, I am going to sail the Defiant to Portsmouth, pick Ross and Harry up and we’re going to come all the way to wherever the fuck you are and drag you out of there.’

‘I needed to do it, Alec.’ Jim said. ‘You know that.’

‘I know.’ Alec said. ‘Doesn’t mean I have to fucking like it.’ He dropped his hands to Jim’s shoulders. ‘Ross was out of his mind. Harry told me about it. If nothing else, you are not going to do that to him again.’ Jim gave him a half smile.

‘I promise.’ he said. Alec nodded and then threw one arm around Jim’s neck and dragged him inside.

‘You fucking better.’ he said.

**********

The Christmas convoy was underway. Ross was driving behind Carter. He had Holmewood and Angelina in his car and they had insisted on putting on their playlist of Christmas songs. They were currently serenading him with a very off tune version of The Twelve Days Of Christmas.

‘Fiiiiiiiiive golden rings!’ they both trilled unnecessarily loudly and Ross winced.

‘Fuck, I think you just perforated my eardrums.’ he said, but he couldn’t stop smiling. It had been a good afternoon. Talking to Hamilton had left Ross with a warm glow inside him. He indicated to turn right watching Carter turn in the opposite direction as they turned into the road that led to the cottage. Holmewood and Ange were going to catch a cab to Wareham and get on the last train to Gloucestershire at eleven and Carter and Demelza were headed to London to go visit his mother and brothers. They had all decided to book into a bed and breakfast just down the road in Steeple. Not that Ross thought they would be spending much time there. Parties at the cottage always ended up going into the early hours of the morning.

He got to the drive and pulled in. Ross parked the car and switched off the engine.

‘All out.’ he said.

‘Okay.’ Holmewood said, untangling himself from a giggling Angelina. ‘Come on old girl.’ They got out and grabbed the bags they had bought with them, heading to the cottage.

Ross watched them go and sighed. It was already dark and the lights of the cottage stood out like a beacon. Ross knew that in a couple of weeks, he would be coming home to darkness and it unsettled him. He had gotten used to having Jim home and it was going to be hard adjusting back to him being at sea. But that just meant he would have to grab it while he could.

There was a knock on the window and Ross jumped. He saw Jim standing outside, hands stuck in the pockets of his jeans and his shoulders hunched against the cold. Ross smiled at him through the window and Jim smiled back, then went around the other side and got in the passenger seat.

‘Hi.’ he said.

‘Hi.’ Ross replied.

‘You were pretty deep in thought there.’ Jim said. ‘You want to share?’

‘You’ll be gone.’ Ross said, and there was a lump in his throat when he said it. ‘In two weeks you’ll be gone.’

‘Only for three months.’ Jim said. ‘Then I’ll be back.’

‘That’s not going to make me miss you any less.’ Ross said. Jim gave him a crooked smile and then leaned in. He caught Ross at the back of the neck and pulled him in, kissing him. There was something in this kiss, the taste of the rum and coke Jim had been drinking notwithstanding. There was heat and desperation and it escalated quickly until their tongues were in each other’s mouths and their breathing was fast and shallow.

‘Fuck.’ Ross breathed. ‘If this is how you are planning on distracting me for the next fourteen days, you’re going to be doing a very good job.’ Jim chuckled and caught Ross’ lower lip between his teeth, sucking on it. Ross felt a surge of heat in his chest and moaned. Jim let him go and started kissing the side of Ross’ neck. ‘What the fuck has got into you?’ Jim kept going and Ross bit his lip, fighting the hard on that was threatening.

‘Your last Christmas present arrive today.’ he said. ‘And I can’t wait for us to use it.’

‘Bloody hell.’ Ross breathed. ‘I thought we said no kinky stuff for Christmas.’

‘No, you said no kinky stuff for Christmas.’ Jim replied, grinning so his dimples were at their deepest. ‘And it’s not really kinky. More…adventurous.’

‘Fuck, what did you do Hawkins?’ Ross asked but Jim pulled back and got out the car.

‘Come on.’ he called. ‘Everyone’s already half drunk and you need to catch up.’

*********

Dinner was ridiculous, even by Rose’s standards. She had gone all out with chicken, beef and gammon all crowded onto the table, three different types of potatoes and several vegetable dishes. There was not enough space for them to all eat so they crowded onto every available surface.

It was fun. The volume of conversation got louder as the alcohol consumption increased, with the exception of Harry of course who was fortified with hot chocolate and a kazoo in the corner on the bean bag from the back room that he was sharing with Alec, although it was proving to be a tight fit and Alec was drunk so he kept sliding off and eventually Harry just had to hold onto him.. They had all decamped to the living room after dinner and were now sprawled on furniture and the floor. The fire was burning and the room was pleasantly warm.

Ross couldn’t remember a Christmas like it. Last year had been fraught, swinging from one extreme to the other, the stress of interacting with his family, Jim’s rescue and the ensuing drama that had turned his life upside down. Now he was in his own home, his own space with his friends and his cousin and the two people who were now his closest family.

He was in the other armchair, legs stretched out in front of him. Jim was on his lap, legs over the arm of the sofa and one arm around the back of Ross’ shoulders. The fire lit up his profile and Ross reached out on instinct and ran the tip of his forefinger down the straight nose. Jim turned and looked at him, then kissed him. Ross kissed back, musing how just a year ago he wouldn’t have been this comfortable. Strange how things changed.

It was rudely interrupted by a well-aimed cushion, which hit them in the heads.

‘Oi, stop snogging you two.’ Preston said. She and Halford were on the sofa with Verity and Angelina. Andrew was on the floor in front of her and Holmewood had brought in a chair from the kitchen.. Ross noted with amusement that Verity had one leg draped over Andrew’s shoulder. They had been touchy-feely all night.

‘This is incredible.’ Demelza was sitting on the floor of the living room with Carter at her back and the bowl that held the remains of the mashed potatoes on her lap, eating them with a table spoon. ‘What do you put in them?’

‘Mustard powder and a handful of cheddar cheese.’ Rose said. She was draped in one of the armchairs with the dogs in her lap. Alec was in charge of filling her glass and he presented the prosecco bottle to her with a flourish that befitted a Michelin star waiter.

‘My mum uses this chicken stock powder she buys from the Asian shop.’ Carter said. His eyes were twinkling. Everyone had watched with bated breath as he and Demelza had embarked on what had proven to be a match made in heaven. To their combined delight, Demelza was more than a match for Carter and they had simply turned into one of those couples who complimented each other perfectly.

They fell into a well-fed and fairly drunken silence, but of course it lasted exactly five minutes before Preston got bored. She fidgeted and then got up abruptly and disappeared. They could hear her rattling around in the kitchen.

‘Oh fuck, no.’ Jim said, apparently quicker on the uptake than everyone else. He looked at Alec. Then he looked at Halford. ‘For the love of Mike tell me she didn’t bring it.’

‘Bring what?’ Verity asked.

‘The fucking bottle.’ Alec said, catching on as well. ‘Oh fuck.’ He rolled off the bean bag and headed after his sister.

‘What bottle?’ Carter asked and Demelza snickered.

‘Seriously?’ she asked. ‘You still play spin the bottle.’

‘Not with kissing.’ Harry said. ‘Although I should point out that that was how those two got started.’ He grinned at Halford.

‘If there’s no kissing them what’s the point?’ Holmewood asked.

‘Forfeits.’ Halford said, draining her beer. ‘I’m getting another drink. I am way too sober for this.’

‘Me too. Anyone else want anything?’ Jim said and tried to get up off Ross’ lap. He was however, not very successful and Ross had to give him a shove. He took the order and tottered off to the kitchen.

‘Good idea.’ Andrew said. He was scarcely able to sit upright. Verity looked on all this with great interest. She turned to talk to Angelina and saw that she was actually sleeping in the corner.

‘So what is this?’ she asked Rose, who chuckled.

‘They used to play it all the time when they were teenagers.’ she said. ‘You spin the bottle and whoever it lands has to drink a shot or tell a truth or do a forfeit. Like recite something or sing or tell a joke or…’

‘Snog.’ Harry laughed. ‘But only if you want to.’

‘Jesus Christ.’ Carter said.

The shots were cranberry vodka which the girls had brought with them. Rose and Harry had opted out of play. Holmewood and Angelina had begged off to catch a taxi to the station and breakfast and Verity had also called time and was curled up on the sofa in her fluffy blanket.

That left Ross, Jim, Preston, Halford, Alec, Carter, Demelza and Andrew all siting in a circle. There was a quantity of plastic shot glasses and two bottles of vodka in the centre of the circle. Halford was using one to fill up the glasses.

‘Can I fucking get out of this.’ Alec said. ‘I’m already drunk.’

‘And Harry is driving so no, you fucking can’t Alexander.’ Preston said. ‘Okay, rules. The person who spins can pick what they want. If it’s truth or forfeit, the person from before chooses what it is. She reached for the bottle and spun it. It landed on Andrew. ‘Choose.’

‘Shot.’ Andrew said and Halford handed him one. Andrew threw it back and made a please sound. ‘This is actually really nice.’ The girls had put them in the freezer and the vodka was icy cold.

‘Wait until you get to shot seven.’ Halford said, grinning. The next spin landed on Carter.

‘Truth.’ he said. Everyone looked at Andrew.

‘Okay.’ he said. ‘What’s your secret talent?’ Ross burst out laughing at that. He had been party to Carter’s talent on more occasions than he could count. Carter looked at him grinning. He staggered to his feet and gave a flamboyant bow. Then proceeded to break into a flawless Caribbean accent and rap his way through verses of the Real Slim Shady. He sat down to riotous applause and Demelza looking at him, her face wreathed in smiles.

‘That was brilliant.’ she said.

*********

The game went drastically downhill. Rose eventually went to bed, taking the dogs with her. The rest of them were in various stages between rat arsed and unconscious.

By the time the vodka had run out and they were down to only truths and forfeits, Ross was a little surprised to find out that Andrew could recite the entirety of The Boy Stood On The Burning Deck, that Halford had two pierced nipples, Alec could make a teaspoon stick to his nose and make donkey noises, Demelza could recite pi to a hundred places and that both Jim and Preston refused to do anything other than drink.

As for himself, he had by some miracle managed to dodge the bottle.

Until now.

‘Fuck,’ he said. Next to him Jim was laughing like a madman. The reason of course was because the person who had gone last was Preston and she had a particularly evil look on her face. That meant he was screwed either way. She had already asked Demelza how big Carter’s cock was. Demelza, however, was not one to be cowed and had shown her by holding her hands a very impressive distance apart.

Ross was screwed whichever one he decided to choose. He looked at Jim.

‘Help me.’ he said and Jim shook his head.

‘I can’t.’ he replied. ‘I am dreading this as much as you are.’

‘Can I specify some taboo subjects?’ Ross asked Preston.

‘No.’ she said. ‘And you have to do any forfeit I tell you to.’

‘That’s not fair.’ Ross protested.

‘It’s the rules.’ Carter drawled. He had an almost insensible Demelza sprawled across his lap.

‘Well there are certain things I am not prepared to do. Like show you how big my cock is. And anything related to our sex life is totally out of bounds.’ Ross said, folding his arms.

‘Spoilsport.’ Preston grinned. ‘All right, I’ll keep it clean.’

‘Fine.’ Ross said. ‘Truth.’

‘Okay.’ Preston said grinning. ‘What’s the most embarrassing thing Jim has ever caught you doing?’

Ross couldn’t help himself. His whole face heated up. He knew what it was. And judging from the broad grin on Jim’s face, he knew exactly what Ross was thinking about.

‘Oh fuck.’ Carter said looking at him. ‘It’s obviously good.’ He looked at Jim. Jim was bent over double, hiccoughing because he was laughing so hard. It would have been outrageously adorable if Ross hadn’t know what he was laughing at.

‘Traitor.’ he said.

‘I’m sorry.’ Jim gasped between giggles. ‘Look, just fucking tell her. My sides hurt.’

‘Fine, but remember you brought this on us.’ Ross said and heaved a martyred sigh. ‘Jim once caught me doing the entire dance routine of Bad Romance in this very room because I thought he was out.’

There was silence and then Carter raised an eyebrow.

‘The entire routine?’ he asked and Ross nodded.

‘Yup.’ he said. ‘The whole damn song.’

‘It was fucking beautiful.’ Jim laughed. ‘He’s actually a fucking good dancer.’

‘Yeah, well. It’s what attracted you in the first place.’ Ross said with a smile. He was still surprised that no-one was laughing.

‘So, hang on.’ Andrew’s face showed that he was finally catching up. ‘That’s actually really complex.’

‘Yeah.’ Demelza said from Carter’s lap. ‘I’d be well pleased if I could do that.’

Ross thought he was free and clear. Then the worst possible thing happened.

‘Now I really want to see that.’ a voice said from the depths of the sofa. They all turned around and saw Verity looking out from under her blanket.

‘Ooh, yeah.’ Preston agreed.

‘No.’ Ross replied. ‘I did my truth. You’re not getting a forfeit for free.’

‘Jesus, can you imagine.’ Demelza laughed. She looked at Ross with amusement clear on her face. ‘I’d be tempted to make him wear heels. Maybe some tights.’ She giggled but the damage was already done.

The others were laughing with her, but that was now what Ross was feeling. Instead the memory flared brightly in his mind like a magnesium reaction. And when he looked at Jim, Ross saw that his blue-green eyes were burning. If only they knew that he had been in heels. And tights. Fishnet hold ups to be precise. It had turned into a very loud and very x-rated afternoon once Jim had stopped laughing.

And Verity wouldn’t be so keen to see the routine of she knew that the precise spot she was lying on was where Jim had bent him over the arm of the sofa and fucked him silly in his shiny black shoes.

‘Stop it.’ Jim said to him in a low voice so the others didn’t hear.

‘What?’ he asked trying to sound as innocent as possible.

‘You know what.’ Jim replied.

*********

They had to wait until everyone abandoned ship.

Verity and Andrew were safely installed on the sofa bed in the living room, Carter and Demelza had taken a cab back to the bed and breakfast. The last to leave were the Prestons. Harry hauled the girls out and shoved them into the car and then came around and said goodbye to them, apologising for his grumpy non-participation. They had sent him off with a couple of hugs and then it was just Alec. Ross, who was considerably more sober than Jim was at this point, opened Alec’s door.

‘We’ll see you in the New Year.’ Alec said with a grin. He was swaying a little. ‘You boys can come round to ours before Jim gets deployed.’ Ross nodded and watched him scramble into the car, closing the door behind him. He looked past Alec, who was fighting with his seatbelt, and gave Harry a grin.

‘Drive safely.’ he said.

‘At least it will be quiet.’ Harry replied. The girls were already passed out in the back. ‘See you later, Poldark.’

Ross raised his hand as the car backed out down the drive and then turned to see Jim standing behind him, hands in his pockets and a predatory look on his face.

‘Do you know what time it is?’ he asked and Ross looked at his watch.

‘Just after two?’ he replied. Jim took a step towards him. He took one hand out of his pocket. He was holding the keys to his car. As Ross watched, he pressed the alarm and the two beeps sounded that indicated the GTI was now unlocked.

‘What are you doing?’ he asked. Jim walked towards him, crowding Ross up against the side of his car.

‘Take your clothes off and get in the back.’ he said, and the low insistent tone of his voice made Ross’ breathing quicken.

‘You are joking right?’ he managed to squeak. ‘It’s bloody freezing out here.’

‘Fine you can leave your top on.’ Jim said. ‘But the rest of it comes off.’ He was right in Ross’ face now, warm breath ghosting over Ross’ mouth. He got Ross by the hips and then very deliberately licked across Ross’ mouth. Ross let out an involuntary moan but it was stifled by Jim’s mouth covering his. Ross responded, meeting Jim’s tongue with his won and kissing back. Jim had no finesse, licking hard into Ross’ open mouth and it made Ross’ blood pound in his ears at how uninhibited Jim was being. Then Jim broke away, licking up Ross’ neck until he got to his ear. ‘Get in the car, Ross. I want to fuck you and the amount of noise that I plan on getting you to make will definitely wake up your cousin.’ he breathed. Then he stepped back and Ross found himself almost falling over as he toed off his converse and tackled his belt. Jim was already in the back by the time he stepped out of his jeans and briefs, socks and shoes already iscarded. He left them lying where they were and got in the back of Jim’s car. Jim was already seated, with their emergency bottle of lube lying on the seat next to him. Ross was pleased to note that his shirt was off and his jeans and boxers were down around his knees.

‘Oh fuck, yeah.’ He said when Ross got in and pulled the door closed behind him. ‘That is ridiculously hot. Maybe I should fuck you outside.’ He manhandled Ross until Ross was straddling his knees, pumping lube into his hand and then wrapping it around Ross’ cock. Ross hissed at the cold, but there was no denying his body’s reaction. He braced himself on his knees and put a hand either side of Jim’s head, hips bucking up into Jim’s hold. Jim grabbed his backside to hold him still and moved his hand hard and fast.

‘Oh fuck.’ Ross blurted out, He leaned his forehead against Jim’s. ‘Don’t, I’m going to come really quickly if you do that.’

‘So come.’ Jim said with an evil smile and let him go long enough to reach for the lube. He didn’t slow down though and Ross started panting, the sound of it loud in the confined space of the car. Jim moved his hand back to Ross’ backside and then a second later, Ross felt it hit him, a thick cold stream that kept coming. Then Jim chucked the bottle on the floor and moved his fingers in, spreading the lube everywhere and then sliding a finger inside Ross. It didn’t take him long to find Ross’ prostate and he didn’t mess around, pressing firmly and making Ross swear at length. He was moving quickly now, pushing back into Jim’s hand and then thrusting up into the grip around his cock.

‘Fuck…’ he moaned. Jim smiled and kissed him, hot and messy. Ross was so far gone he couldn’t help himself, slobbering all over Jim like a very enthusiastic puppy and whimpering at each press to the spot inside him. ‘So fucking good…’

‘Yeah?’ Jim’s voice was teasing. ‘Does it feel good baby?’ Ross felt a jolt go through him at a particularly well-placed stroke and couldn’t answer.

‘Mmmm.’ he managed through gritted teeth, and Jim slowed his hand.

‘You want to come, baby?’ he asked and Ross shook his head violently.

’No.’ he panted. ‘I want you to fuck me first.’ He reached down and ran his fingers along the length of Jim’s cock. ‘I want you all the way inside me.’

‘Not yet.’ Jim said, leaning into him, biting and licking at his neck. He slid a second finger in alongside the first one. Ross threw his head back and moaned shamelessly. He could feel the orgasm starting to build and knew that the way he was feeling it wouldn’t take long. Jim must have felt it too, because he let of of Ross’ cock, pulled is fingers out and lined himself up. Ross lowered, and felt Jim’s cock against him. He took a deep breath and went, feeling it go in all the way until he was sitting on Jim. He couldn’t resist lifting up, feeling Jim slide out of him almost all the way and then slamming down again.

‘That’s it baby.’ Jim breathed, watching him. ‘Fuck yourself on my cock.’ His hands were under Ross t-shirt, ragging his fingers over Ross' nipples just hard enough. It was enough to make Ross whine noisily and do as he had been prompted, leaning back to get the angle that had the head of Jim’s cock rubbing his prostate on every lift.

‘Oh God…’ he moaned. ‘Oh fuck, Jim…’

‘Come on, ride my cock.’ Jim was almost incoherent. ‘I want to see you come all over me.’ His hand was back on Ross’ cock, thumb moving in slow circles over the head. ‘Fuck, you look so good like this.’ The added stimulation was too much. Ross started bucking against Jim, chasing the pleasure that course through him. He knew he was almost screaming, and he could vaguely hear Jim’s answering cries. Ross braced his arms harder and drove down onto Jim. He looked at him, their eyes locking.

‘Come on.’ Jim moaned. ‘Talk to me. Tell me how good it feels.’ His head was back against the seat of the car.

‘So good.’ Ross said and a hard pinch of his left nipple made him gasp.

‘No.’ Jim said, his voice rough. ‘Tell me. Tell me what you want.’

‘Fuck…’ Ross felt himself starting to blush, which was utterly ridiculous considering what he was currently doing. ‘Jim…I can’t.’

‘Do it.’ Jim’s voice had that insistent tone again.

‘Fuck.’ Ross panted. ‘Fuck me. I want your cock in me as far as it can go.’

‘And then?’ Jim was now thrusting up as hard as Ross was bearing down.

‘Fuck me hard.’ Ross replied. ‘Fuck me so I hurt tomorrow.’ He was so close now, the heat inside him spreading pleasantly and threatening to overwhelm him.

‘Think you can take it, Poldark?’ Jim was breathing so hard, Ross knew he was as close as he was. ‘Think you can take my cock? Think you can take me pounding into you so hard, you’ll feel me for days?’ His hand moved along the length of Ross’ cock, hard and fast.

‘Yes. Fucking do it.’ Ross shouted and let go, arching back and feeling the orgasm hit him hard enough to knock the air out of him. He came, his release striping Jim’s bare chest. Jim grabbed his hips and drove up one final time, crying out as he came three thrust later. Ross fell forward, face in Jim’s neck. He shuddered as he came through it, and felt Jim’s arms go around him.

‘Oh baby.’ he chuckled into Ross’ shoulder. ‘I love it when you talk dirty.’

‘Yeah, well consider it an early Christmas present.’ Ross replied, biting Jim’s neck for good measure.


	5. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last part of their first Christmas together.

Christmas Eve was a washout.

Ross woke up with a fierce headache and a furry tongue and a fervent wish that he could be hit on the head and rendered unconscious.

‘Fuck.’ he muttered.

‘What again?’ Jim replied and then snickered into his pillow.

‘Wanker.’ Ross retorted, prodding him in the ribs. ‘We are not doing it in the car anymore. I have a serious crick in my neck.’

‘That’s because you’re secretly a giraffe.’ Jim replied, yawning enormously and snuggling down further into the duvet. ‘Go forth, brave knight. I need breakfast.’

‘Last time I checked it was your turn to be on breakfast rota.’ Ross replied. 

‘No…’ Jim started and then they both stopped and realised there was the most amazing smell permeating the house.

‘Fuck, I love your mother.’ Ross said, throwing back the duvet and getting up, stretching and wincing when his neck popped. 

‘Last one downstairs does the dishes.’ Jim said. They looked at each other for a moment and then got dressed as fast as possible, trying their best to disable each other as they attempted to get out the room and down the stairs in their race to the kitchen.

Below them, Rose flipped the pancakes she was making and smiled as she heard the thump of footsteps at speed and then the very distinct sound of someone being tackled to the floor. It was followed by the high pitched screams of the same someone being mercilessly tickled. It was, however, impossible to tell who. Rose shook her head and chuckled. 

‘Boys.’ she said and Andrew and Verity exchanged a look and grinned back at her.

They left at midday, headed to Verity’s home. Ross and Jim and Rose waved them off from the front step. 

‘Christ I need a lie down.’ Rose said. ‘You youngsters drank me under the table last night.’ She turned and went inside. Jim leaned on Ross’ shoulders. 

‘I need a very serious amount of sofa time.’ he said. 

‘No arguments from me.’ Ross said.

They spent the rest of the day lying on the sofa and watching the original series of Star Trek, punctuated by trips to the kitchen for leftovers. By the time it was seven, Jim and Rose had both passed out on their respective chairs. Ross grinned. He carefully wriggled his way out from under Jim’s head, then tiptoed out the room. Port and Starboard watched him go from their position in front of the fireplace and then followed him, completely ignoring his hissed instructions to go back in the living room. Eventually he caved and they followed him out through the kitchen and then the back door. They frolicked around the back garden, merrily peeing on everything while Ross went to the shed. He unlocked it and went inside, switching the light on. 

Ross stood and looked at the two paintings he’d done. He was inordinately proud of them. While he knew he was talented and had produced some fine work when he’d studied art at school, Ross hadn’t been sure of his ability to still be able to paint like he’d used to. But looking at this, the culmination of three months’ work, he was very happy with the results. Now it was just a question of getting them inside and hiding them. He walked to the easel and studied the paint to see if it was perfectly dry. The one for Rose wasn’t large, about the size of an A4 page. Jim’s one was considerably larger, about fifty by a hundred centimetres. 

He ran his fingers lightly over the oils, checking by feel whether everything had dried the way it should have. The damp winter meant it had taken a little longer. Finally satisfied, Ross took Rose’s picture and wrapped it in some loose canvas. He did the same to Jim’s and then carried both inside, leaving them in the laundry room on top of the washing machine. Port and Starboard came in from the garden, shaking their thick fur and wriggling around him. Ross shooed them out and went to hide the paintings in the store cupboard under the stairs. 

When he came back into the living room, he noticed Jim was missing. The dogs immediately usurped their places on the sofa and curled up. Ross left them and went to the foot of the stairs. He listened and heard noises. Grinning he ran up, taking the stairs two at a time. Unfortunately he wasn’t the most graceful or silent of creatures and Jim had locked the bedroom door by the time he got there.

‘Come on.’ Ross wheedled. ‘Let me in.’

‘No.’ Jim laughed. ‘If I can wait till tomorrow, so can you.’

‘Yeah, but this like my first proper Christmas with you.’ Ross said. ‘With actual presents and everything.’ He leaned against the door, tapping out a light tattoo with his fingers. ‘Please, babe. Just one present?’ There was a loud sigh from behind the door and then it opened. Jim looked at him, half amused and half disgusted.

‘You are a fucking child.’ he said. Ross beamed at him. 

‘Does this mean I can?’ he asked, barely able to contain himself.

‘One present.’ Jim said and let him into the room. To Ross bemusement, he locked the door behind him. 

‘Expecting the Spanish Inquisition?’ he asked with a raised eyebrow. 

‘No-one expects the Spanish Inquisition.’ Jim said right on cue. He grinned at Ross. ‘No, it’s just that what I’m about to give you is not for public consumption and the only reason I’m caving to your frankly appalling attempt at emotional blackmail is because I don’t want Rose to be subjected to this tomorrow morning.’ He pointed to the bed. ‘Sit.’ 

‘Yes sir.’ Ross replied, completely intrigued. He sat done amid the rolls of festive wrapping paper and Sellotape and watched Jim dig around in the bottom of his side of the wardrobe. He came back with a parcel that he handed to Ross.

‘Merry Christmas, baby. Well, almost.’ he said. 

Ross took the box and shook it, as he always did. Jim snickered at him and sat down to rest against the footboard. Ross ripped the plastic and then did a double take as he looked at the box. Jim burst out laughing when he saw his scandalised expression.

‘What the fucking fuck?’ Ross asked. 

‘I thought it would be a good idea.’ Jim said, his smile wicked. 'Seeing as we broke your other one two weeks ago.’ 

‘Yeah, but why the fuck did you get a glow-in-the-dark one?’ Ross asked as he turned the box over. ‘And whose cock are we going to use?’

‘Mine obviously.’ Jim said. ‘The whole point is that I leave the most important part of me behind.’ He was smiling broadly. ‘This way I can fuck you even when I’m not here. Just think, you’ll have your own lightsabre to play with.’ His eyes sparkled with amusement.

‘Holy fuck.’ Ross said. As ridiculous as the idea might seem, the sudden realisation that he could have something the exact shape and size of Jim’s cock was starting to really get his mind racing. He looked at Jim. ‘Can we do it tonight?’ That wiped the smirk right off Jim’s face.

Their eyes met. 

‘Are you getting turned on by this?’ Jim asked. 

‘Maybe.’ Ross replied, blushing a little.

‘In that case, as soon as Rose goes to bed.’ Jim said, a little too quickly Ross noted with a certain satisfaction. 

‘Are you getting turned on by this?’ he asked.

‘Bizarrely, yes.’ Jim said. 

‘Well, considering what we have to do with this, that’s probably a good thing.’ Ross said peering at the instructions on the back of the box.

**********

It took all his self-restraint for Ross to go back downstairs and leave Jim to wrap his other presents. He got to the kitchen and went in to make some tea for himself. Rose had planned out the meal for Christmas Day, and there was a beef rib and a tray of potatoes and parsnips in water in the fridge. She was also going to teach Ross how to make Yorkshire puddings. 

He went back into the living room with his tea and Rose shifted in her armchair. She blinked her eyes open and then smiled at him.

‘How long have I been asleep?’ she asked. 

‘About two hours.’ Ross said. ‘I made myself some tea, would you like a cup?’

‘No thanks, duckie.’ Rose said. She sat up. ‘I think I am going to go to bed. I’m knackered after last night. Not as young as I used to be.’ She got up, wrapping her blanket around her like a cape and came over to kiss him on the cheek. ‘I’ll see you in the morning.’ 

‘Night.’ Ross said and she shuffled out, the dogs in her wake. He heard her go up the stairs and then some muffled conversation as she spoke to Jim. Then her bedroom door shut. Ross drank his tea, trying to wait as long as was decently possible. He even went into the kitchen and washed up his cup. 

Then he bolted up the stairs. Quietly.

Jim was already in the bathroom, scrutinising the back of the box. 

‘We need a couple of things.’ he said. ‘Here. Read the instructions.’ He shoved the box into Ross’ hands and disappeared. Ross ripped the side of the box open and started setting out the things inside. He took out the plastic tube and couldn’t help laughing. Jim came in behind him with a stainless steel mixing bowl from the kitchen, the kitchen timer and the measuring jug. He grinned at Ross as he put everything on the old washstand they had in the corner. 

‘Give me the instructions.’ he said and then saw the tube in Ross’ hands. ‘Christ, the things I do for you.’ 

‘Only because they’ll benefit you later.’ Ross replied, holding up the tube and looking thoughtfully at it. ‘This looks a little long.’

‘Oh, thank you very much.’ Jim laughed. ‘Maybe you should use yours then.’ He took the tube from Ross, testing the plastic. ‘I think once we know how long it has to be, we cut it down to size.’ Their eyes locked and they both snickered noisily. ‘Jesus, this is going to be fucking ridiculous.’

‘So what do we do first?’ Ross asked. Jim raised one eyebrow at him and then the instructions came back to him. ‘Oh. In that case how do you want to do it? You want to just kind of do it yourself?’

‘No.’ Jim said, like Ross was being obtuse. ‘If I have to suffer the indignity of sticking my cock in a tube of alginate, you have to suffer the indignity of giving me something to look at so I stay hard.’ The grin currently plastered across his face told Ross that he found that idea very appealing. 

‘Christ.’ Ross muttered suddenly blushing furiously. ‘I’m not going to stand here and jerk off so you can do this.’

‘Yes.’ Jim said, turning the tap on and waiting for the water to get hot. ‘You are.’ He measured out the correct amount into the jug and poured it onto the stainless steel bowl. He picked up the bag of alginate powder and looked at it. ‘And you better do it quickly because this stuff sets in minutes.’ He gave Ross an expectant look. ‘Clothes off, Captain Poldark.’ 

‘This is stupid.’ Ross grumbled but he acquiesced, stripping off his hoodie and shivering. The bathroom was a little colder than he would have liked. 

‘Jeans too.’ Jim said. He leaned back against the chest of drawers. 

‘The next thing you’re going to be saying is you want me to fucking dress up as fucking Princess Leia for you.’ Ross said. As the words came out of his mouth, he remembered the previous evening’s events. And he saw that Jim had too. Their eyes locked again. Ross felt heat flicker in his chest. 

‘Fuck.’ Jim said. ‘Yeah, that will do it.’ He bit his lower lip, an involuntary tell that he was getting turned on. ‘Go put them on.’ 

Ross left and went into the bedroom. He left his t-shirt on, but took off his jeans and briefs. It was a quick dig in the top drawer for the hold-ups that Jim liked best: sheer black with a lace border at the top. He smoothed them on, and the dug under the bed for the shoebox that held his prized high heels. By the time he had strapped them on, he was pretty hard himself. He was about to grab a pair of the black lace underwear that went with them when he heard Jim’s voice.

‘Leave the underwear off, Ross.’ Ross smiled, amazed that Jim had been able to track his actions just by listening to him. He stood up, taking a moment to adjust to the new height and then walked into the bathroom. He leaned in the doorway. Jim was already ready, sitting on the edge of the bath with his jeans undone. His eyes burned when he saw Ross. ‘Fuck. That’s perfect.’

Ross gave him a cocky smile. For some reason the very obvious effect the shoes and stockings had on Jim gave him the most ridiculous amount of confidence. He reached down and took his cock in his hand, moving it slowly. He stood there, slowly jerking off as Jim got the first part of the process out the way, cutting the tube down to size and filling it before making sure he was correctly placed. Then it was just a matter of sitting still while the mould set. He watched Ross, eyes fixed on Ross’ hand and not even bothering to pretend that he wasn’t as turned on as all hell. By the time they got to the designated period of minutes passed, both of them were almost desperate to get to each other. As soon as the timer went Jim got out of his somewhat sticky situation as fast as he could without destroying anything. Ross grinned and backed up into the room, watching Jim stalk towards him with intention all over his face.

Then he pounced and they went over onto the bed in a flurry of heels and laughter.

**********

Christmas Day was clear and this time Ross woke bright eyed and happy.

He looked back over his shoulder at Jim, still sleeping on his side with one arm draped over Ross’ waist, and it was like everything in his life had been leading up to this. 

Perfectly happy. Perfectly content.

He wriggled around so he was facing Jim and just looked at him, his eyes tracing every detail he knew by heart now but which still made him stop and stare. The Nicaraguan tan was gone, Jim’s naturally pale, freckled skin almost transluscent in the winter light. His breathing was deep and even, one hand under his pillow to cushion his head, a sprinkling of dark gold stubble along his jawline. Ross lifted his hand and gently moved it along one gold eyebrow, along the line of his nose to trace the full line of his lips. 

That got a smile, and one dimple sprang to life at the corner of his mouth. He slowly opened his eyes, deep blue this morning. Deep water eyes.

‘You know I’m never going anywhere.’ he said, his voice rough and sleep-soft.

‘I know.’ Ross answered. This time he believed it.

They got up, showered together and then dressed and went downstairs. Rose was still asleep, and Jim busied himself with breakfast while they waited for her to get up. Ross went out the back to restock the log basket. He breathed in deeply on the back step, the felt Jim come up behind him, arms around his waist. Ross smiled and leaned back into him. 

‘It’s cold out here.’ Jim said, nosing his neck and then kissing behind his ear. ‘Hurry the fuck up.’ Ross laughed and turned in his arms.

‘It’s Christmas.’ he replied. ‘I can do what the fuck I want today.’ Jim’s eyes were sparkling with happiness and Ross couldn’t resist taking his face in his hands and kissing him. Jim kissed him back, and they stood like that for a while, trading kisses until two small black hurricanes emerged from the kitchen and bounced around their feet.

‘Guess Rose is up.’ Jim said looking down. 

**********

They were in the living room. They had eaten breakfast in there while they exchanged presents. Ross was grinning at the box that lay at his feet. Jim had jokingly called it his educational package and it contained ten of his favourite films and a gorgeous first edition biography of Wellington, which Ross was pretty sure he could use to kill rodents it was so heavy. He had been thrilled with Jim’s reception of his own gift, the painting he’d done showing the beach that stretched from Rose’s cottage to the opposite headland in winter. The paint was all tones of moody grey and green and white, and in the middle of it was a single figure walking with his back to the viewer. Jim had given Ross a knowing look. They both knew it was how Ross saw him.

But that morning had been more about Rose. Jim had known that Ross had had something special in mind for her, although he hadn’t asked what it was, knowing Ross had wanted to keep it a surprise.

She had loved her planter and her necklace but when Ross had placed the painting in her hands, something extraordinary had happened.

At first, Rose had stared open-mouthed at her painting. Then she had completely shocked Ross by bursting into tears. He’d looked at Jim, frantic at having caused her distress, but Jim had just shook his head ever so slightly. His own face had been perfectly calm, and Ross had wondered at that until he had realised that this was Jim’s reaction to his mother’s pain. He stood firm while she broke, just like he always had. Eventually Rose stopped crying long enough to blow her nose and then she got up and flung her arms around Ross’ neck, almost squeezing the life out of him.

‘I don’t know how you did it.’ she said. ‘It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever been given.’ She gave Jim a teary smile. ‘Sorry love, but it is.’ 

‘You’ll get no argument from me there.’ Jim replied, giving Ross a proud smile. ‘He’s a genius.’

‘I think that might be a bit of a strong word to use.’ Ross said, although he was now feeling extraordinarily pleased at the reaction he was getting. 

‘Honestly.’ Rose said. She let him go and went back to pick up the painting, a portrait of Rob perfectly captured in shades of yellow, white and blue that showed him leaning against of the mast of the dinghy he’d taught Jim to sail in. ‘It’s fucking perfect. And I don’t say that lightly.’ She put it down again and held out both arms. They got up off the sofa and moved into the hug. Rose held onto both of them, the strength in her arms surprising Ross.

‘My boys.’ she said. Ross looked at Jim over her hand and Jim smiled back at him.

‘Merry Christmas.’ he said.


End file.
